


Stay With Me

by sandracula



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Character Death, Death, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, F/M, Heavy Angst, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26316451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandracula/pseuds/sandracula
Summary: After the fall of Wall Maria, you trained and climbed your way up to the scouts regiment, earning a place in Levi’s handpicked squad of elite soldiers. Fighting side by side with Levi, you both begin to develop romantic feelings towards each other, but will you live long enough to stay by his side?
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 21
Kudos: 113





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello^^ this is my first time writing a Levi fic so bare with me! The first four chapters were written a while back, so there are some grammatical and formatting errors and the writing may be a tad bit corny in my opinion😭 The last chapter is better, promise :) pls comment and leave kudos, they rlly motivate me to continue writing :)

As if running from titans as tall as a 10-meter building wasn’t already burning up your lungs, the smell of burning flesh and pools of metallic blood also suffocated your nostrils. Fast feet trampling over dismantled and limbless bodies, hundreds, thousands of other desperate souls navigating their way through crowds to escape their inevitable death. You stood still in the middle of the broken cobblestone road, facing the opposite direction of the hysterical bodies running towards your way at full speed. If you weren’t being eaten by a titan, you sure would have been stomped and trampled on until you eventually died. The scene repeatedly replayed in your mind as you kept your eyes trained on the 15-meter tall titan that had just snapped and eaten your parent's bodies just a couple of minutes ago. Their blood screeching screams continuously ring through your ears. Your mother's lifeless torso being munched on, your father intestines hanging from another titan's mouth. Move goddamit, pick up your fucking feet, shit!! You knew that standing here would not bring them back, but you can’t seem to move, as if something held you in place. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. 

Your inner thoughts continue to occupy your mind as you try to pull yourself out of your trance as the disorientated titans hurl towards your direction, its bloodthirsty eyes focused on the only still body amongst the moving crowd. Slowly but surely, your feet peeled off the cobblestone road, picking up one after another, faster, run faster if you don’t want to become titan shit. How annoying… but you can’t avoid your instincts, adrenaline kicking in, you fasten your pace and start running towards the inner wall.

“Tsk, no doubt that you’re my daughter” Your father took your offering hand and pulled himself off the ground and dusting off the dirt of his clothes, “you finally beat your old pa huh? Are you that happy?” You flashed him a sheepish smile and held the wooden sword that you knocked out of his hand earlier in front of you, “dare for a rematch?” you offered him another flashy smile, proud that after 21 years you could finally beat your father in a spar.

He waved you off and placed a hand on his back, “No, no, these old bones can’t handle this lifestyle anymore” He dramatically limped his way back towards your tiny cottage home which stood alone in the middle of a flower field. You playfully rolled your eyes at his dramatics and skipped back towards him and linked your arms together.

“I can’t believe I finally beat you in a match! This is where my life finally begins!!” You excitedly shook the wooden sword in front of you, turning his head to the side, “What is she talking about…” you hear your father mumbled under his breath. You groan in annoyance, “I can still hear you, you know?!” expecting at least some type of compliment from him. You bent down and took off your muddy boots and slipped on your house slippers, making your way into the kitchen where your mother quietly sat and drank her tea.

“Ma! I finally beat pa” You happily ran behind her and began poking her sides proudly announcing your long-awaited win. Eyes widening slightly and a wide smile slowly crept upon her face, “Oh, I knew my daughter could beat anyone!” she fondly pat your head. Your father let a small huff, hands on his hips, giving you a staredown. You childishly stuck your tongue out at him, sighing in defeat he made his way towards you.

“I’m proud of you sweetheart.” He kissed your head and gave you a small smile before making his way to his room. He had a solemn look on his face which he tried to mask with a smile, maybe because of the realization that you were finally old enough to take over his duty, it wasn’t a day he was really looking forward to. You stare at his disappearing figure fade into the dark hallway and turn back to your mother, in a small voice you asked.

“Do… Do you think I should join the scout's regiment? It isn’t too late right? I’m sure I can quickly rise to the ranks, considering my age and skill level, perhaps… take father’s position so he can finally retire…” You fumbled with your thumbs, your father has been a part of the scouts for 5 years, working alongside Commander Erwin, helping him plan and go on suicidal expeditions. But it wouldn’t be long before his old age catches up to his body. Your victorious defeat against your father today proved it.

Your mother let out a sigh, “I don’t think I would be able to stop you even if I tried,” a small pause in between to sip on her tea, she continues, “If you do wish to join the scout's regiment… I wouldn’t hold you back honey.” Your mother’s answer pleased you, you weren’t really looking for permission, rather, letting her know that you would join the corp despite her answer, but she already knew that. You pecked her cheek and wished her goodnight before dragging your tired feet towards your room.

That night… Last night, you laid in bed not knowing the outcome of tomorrow, unaware that was going to be the last time you saw your mother and father, the last time you would ever talk to them. Hot tears brimmed your eyes as you pushed your feet to its limits, seems to run faster and faster towards the inner gate despite exhaustion taking over your body, you were conditioned to endure harsh circumstances, hell you spent your whole life building your strength and stamina. You weren’t sure how long you’ve been running, dodging nearby titans mercilessly ripping bodies apart, outrunning the past crowd, you made it to the river barge. You lived near the inner gate and to your surprise, there weren't as many people you thought there would be. Limping your way towards the boat, the soldier pulled you aboard. 

Legs trembling as you hunched down to sit down on the floor of the boat. Your eyes scan the dock that becomes increasingly more packed by the second. You felt guilty, you shouldn’t be here, you should be down there helping the elders and children onto the boat, or maybe you should have died with your parents. But instead, you’re uselessly staring out at the chaos as it unfolds. Even if you wanted to come down and help others, the adrenaline finally wears off and you painfully come to realize how torn up and tired your body was, giving in to the exhaustion, your eyes slowly fluttering shut.

Awakened by a loud bang, your eyes adjusted to the afternoon light, scanning your surroundings you pulled yourself up from the floor and followed the crowd off the boat. They pushed all of the refugees into one place and started to hand out food rations, with the shortage of food and the overwhelming amount of refugees, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to snag any rations considering your position, a healthy 21-year-old woman with no family nor children, you weren’t a priority. 

Within the next couple of days, it was announced that civilian armies would be sent back out to reclaim Wall Maria and those unable to fight would be sent to plow the fields. Sighing, you pulled your hood onto your head and faced the concrete wall in front of you. You knew your experience in combat and fighting would not save your life, and you knew that the government only sent the refugees out to lessen the food shortage. Scanning the crowd, despondent exteriors were plastered on everyone's faces, yours as well. You weren’t planning to actually make it out of this damn suicide mission, still lamenting over the loss of your parents, your body began to heat up with rage, your grip on your two swords tighten as you hyper fix your attention on the wall opening. A series of muffled commands were shouted and the sound of thousands of feet shuffling pushed you forward. 

Next to you stood a girl around your age, her long brunette hair softly swayed behind her back, the light of the afternoon sky perfectly highlighting her determined features. Your eyes wandered down to her hands, trembling, her hands gripping her sword so tightly her knuckles turned white. Feeling the presence of your eyes on her, she turned her head to face you. 

“Are you nervous? I feel like I’m about to puke my guts out,” her surprisingly chirpy voice broke you out of your thoughts. 

“No.” Yes, you were. You can feel your heart beating at 100 miles an hour, if it were to beat any faster it might just jump out of your chest. Her eyebrows soften as she flashed you a smile, she can see it all, your fear, your pain, your anger. She knew it all too well.

“I’m Ines.’’ You fixated on her kind and gentle features, but you knew behind her kind eyes, her thoughts were probably inundated with the millions of ways she could be killed once she steps foot outside the walls. It would be useless to get close to anyone, especially on a mission like this, but to your surprise, you mumbled your name in response. You sighed again at the meaningless interaction, facing forward you both walked in silence until reaching the first site of small cottage houses.

The broken cobblestone roof caved inside the small infrastructure decorated with detached limbs and bitten-off heads. The metallic smell of blood was enough to make anyone hurl, it burned through your nostrils as you walked around the scene to look for any survivors. Everyone was split up in separate groups about an hour ago, some were sent to the site of the armor titan break-in and you and a couple of others were sent into the outside villages and houses to search for any survivors, but no one in your sector had found anyone alive for the past couple of hours of searching. Kicking around the rubble on the floor you find a bench to rest on and leaning back on the bench you let your head fall backward, staring up at the blue sky. Closing your eyes, your mind replays a memory of your father. 

“Cmon get up,” He poked your side with his wooden sword, “if this was a real fight, you already have one foot in the grave.” You groan, using your hands to lift your face from the ground. Your fingers tighten around the handle of the sword as you dig the blade into the ground to pull the rest of your body onto your feet. Agitated, you screamed as you charged again at your father, which he easily dodged, pulling your hands behind your back he disarmed you, grabbing your shoulder to stabilize his throw, he tossed you over his shoulder and you landed on your back with a thud. Your eyebrows scrunch up in pain, feeling the throw ring throughout your entire body. “Get up.” Nothing, you continue to lay on your back with your eyes closed. “I said get up! Get up! Get up!”

“GET UP!” Your father's voice fading out into a more feminine one, you shot your eyes opened, squinting at the sudden change in brightness. A harsh tug on your wrist pulled you off the bench, almost tripping on your own feet. You look up to see Ines once gentle eyes shaking with fear staring behind your shoulder, scrunching your brows in the confusion you turn your head around trying to figure out what was happening. You finally realized how hard the ground was shaking, how the dust and rubble were falling off the crumbled buildings, the loud footsteps followed closely as you came face to face with the cannibalistic monster. Without any type of gear you both would be good as dead you thought, pulling your wrist out of Ines’s grasp you reach for your swords. 

“Ines go find a horse quickly!” You pushed the frightened girl forward, turning back around to face the flesh-eating manic hurling towards you.  Shit. Despite your advanced skills, you never fought a titan before, nor do you have the proper equipment to fight one. You needed to get onto a roof to somehow gain an advantage on the titan. Running up fallen concrete you managed to climb your way up onto the rooftops of the surrounding houses. Blood coursing through your veins, your fingers tightly held onto your sword, you turn around waiting for the titan to come closer as it finishes munching on the other soldier from your section. Just as its hands come flying down at you, you jump onto its palm running up its arms to reach its nape. Seconds away from its neck, you pushed all your weight off your heels, jumping up above its neck, you swing your blades down, slicing its nape cleanly off. Its steaming blood splashed on your face as you landed down on its back, bracing for the impact as its body fell forwards, you raised both of your blades above your head, sinking your sword into its back to stabilize yourself from the fall. With a hard thud, the steaming titan body laid lifeless on the ground. 

With trembling knees you pulled yourself up to your feet, holding onto your swords to support. Breathing heavily, you stand on the titans back staring at its naked dead body. Overwhelmed, you felt hot tears running down your cheeks. You fall back down to your knees and begin sobbing into your bloody hands. Your body began to shake as you feel yourself become dizzier and dizzier. Why couldn’t you have killed that titan when it counted? Why couldn’t you save your mother and father? Why were you such a coward? Why did you stand there and watch their bodies being ripped apart? Why… Why are you alive and they aren’t. Your name being shouted in the distance tore you away from your self deprecating thoughts. With bloodshot eyes, you saw Ines on a horse and a couple of other soldiers with green capes coming towards your way. 

You weakly pulled your swords out of the titans back and jumped down from its decaying body. Wiping the tears off your face hastily to hide your breakdown, you slowly start walking towards their emerging figures. The powerful steeds came to a halt, Ines jumped down from the horse and wrapped her arms tightly around your frame. You stood there limp, letting her hug you for whatever reason. She then pulled away, no words were exchanged between the two of you. 

“You killed that titan?” The male sitting on the horse with a green cape asked, giving a small huff you responded, “yeah...” offering him a weak smile to diffuse the strangely thick tension. 

Despite having a complete breakdown on the back of a decaying titan body just a few minutes ago, you couldn’t possibly let a member of the scout's regiment think you were weak. His eyes slightly furrowed, impressed none, to say the least considering you had no special equipment or 3D gear. 

“I’m assuming you can ride then, get on the horse, we’re retreating back inside the walls.” You obeyed his orders, pulling yourself up onto the horse and taking the reins into your hands, you offered a hand to Ines, which she gladly accepted and pulled her up behind you. Without any more words exchanged, you tighten your thighs around the horse and begin following the man back to the walls.

After arriving back, you and Ines were redirected to a training boot camp where you both trained for two years, in hopes of joining the scout regiments. In between those two years after the fall of Wall Maria, despite your protest of becoming friends with her, you and Ines became attached to the hip. You trained her to become just as strong as you were. You worked hard to build your image, earning the acknowledgment from your superiors as well as respect from the young cadets. You always kept a cheery exterior and a smile on your face, no matter any situation, not wanting to show any type of weakness or be viewed as timid. You can’t possibly let your parents' death be incomplete vain, you couldn’t fail, no… you can’t fail. 

After the mission to reclaim Wall Maria, you kept your surname a secret, simply saying you did not have one, not wanting to taint your father's name until you have done something worthy enough. As well as wanting to create a name for yourself, instead of living behind his accomplishments. He would want you to move on… Without his prestigious name, you still quickly rose to the ranks, becoming top in your class, as well as Ines. It was your last year before you were allowed to decide which regiment you wanted to join, it seemed clear that you would join the scouts since that was the plan before the attack, you never really had anything else in mind.


	2. Chapter Two

Today was the day the new recruits were joining, you were glad to see so many determined faces, you and Ines strolled around the lined up cadets being patronized by Instructor Shadis. 

“Remember when we were those freshman cadets?” you smiled turning to your brunette friend, “ugh don’t even get me started! We were standing right next to each other but only I got yelled at!” Her brows furrow pretending to fake cry, you flashed her a cheeky smile and nudged her shoulder.

Shadis voice boomed throughout the training ground, you both direct your attention towards the recruit being scrutinized by the instructor. Your eyes scanning the faces of the new recruits, the young boy with beaming emerald eyes, the blonde bob that covered a timid boy's face, and a solemn girl with jet black hair, you followed their eyes to the cadet being squawked at by Shadis. You barely manage to catch her name, Sasha Blouse. Stopping in your tracks, you were curious about how this could end. Ines leaned in near your shoulder.

“She must be insane…” a small paused from your friend, watching the scene unfold a little more, she continues, “I could have definitely done that.” You turned to face her, bewildered. 

“You would have pissed your goddamn pants Ines! What are you even talking about.” You let out a snort and wrapped your arm around her shoulder pulling her in towards you as you both started shuffling away from the training ground. Ines mumbled something incoherent under her breath and playfully shoved you off her shoulder. Whining, you pulled her back, interlocking your arms together, “I wonder if those kids will make it” you said out loud, thinking back to those three certain cadets that caught your eye, you were excited to see how these new batch of recruits fought. 

Surprised, to say the least, you were impressed at how skilled the freshman recruits were, of course, as a senior cadet you were more skilled. You still worked amongst your class of senior peers but for some odd reason, you always ended up messing around with the younger cadets. Those determined cadets you saw on the first day slowly manage to wriggle their way into your mind. Eren Jaeger, someone filled with so much determination you couldn’t possibly compare to, Armin Arlert, still timid as ever but you never met someone as intelligent as him, and Mikasa Ackerman, you were somewhat close to her, seeing both of your skills were somehow even, you both earnestly trained together throughout your last year together. Your senior year as a cadet flew by, still at the top of your class by the end of the year with Ines following close behind in second, it was finally time to graduate and choose your regiment. 

It was an exciting day, you trained hard for 3 years to come to this point. You were curious as to what Captain Levi was like, humanity's strongest. When you first heard about the strangely strong raven hair man, you were intrigued, you wondered if your father had ever worked with him. You never heard of this Levi captain from your father, but hearing great things from others, it piqued your interest even further. Curious about how much more advanced his skills were from yours, you were itching to find out. You bid your goodbyes to Eren and his friends offering a few encouraging words that would probably slip their minds in a couple of days… still, you wanted them to live, to be happy. Pulling Eren into a tight embrace which he tried to squirm out of. 

“Don’t die just yet Yaeger, you have yet to beat me in a match.” Pulling away from your clutch, his eyes sparkled with resolve.

“I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, thanks.” He flashed you a toothy grin and stepped back to let you bid your goodbye to Armin and Mikasa. Saying alongside the same thing you told Eren to the other two, you pulled your bag onto your shoulder and stared back at the three friends. Smiling you waved goodbye, not sure if you would ever see them again. Turning on your heel you made your way to Ines who was waiting at the gate, without looking back, you linked your arms with hers and left the training ground. You follow one of the scout members to yours and Ines’s room, the petite girl stopped at a door and turned around to face both you and Ines.

"My name is Petra Ral, I’m a part of the Levi squad if you need any help getting around let me know.” A soft smile plastered on her lips, you thanked her and walked into your room. There were two twin beds placed across each other, separated by two-night stands in the middle, one bed near the window, and the other up against the wall. Side eyeing Ines carefully, you both locked eye contact with each other for a couple of seconds, and within the next millisecond you were a couple of inches away from plopping your body onto the bed near the window. With a big thud, you land on the bed face forward.

“No, get off. Now.” Your muffled giggling echoed around the room as you stuff your face into the mattress, you lift your head to face Ines sitting slumped on the other bed, thrashing her feet around in protest. You childishly stuck your tongue out at her and sat up, bouncing up and down on your bed. 

“Fine, then I get you to use the showers first,” Without protest, you hummed in response to her proposition.

“Cmon let's go check out the training ground.” Getting up to your feet you walked over to the door, turning back to see if Ines was following you which she wasn’t, with a small groan she pulled herself to her feet and made her way towards you. Walking past the mess hall you saw a couple of cadets grabbing some snacks, others sitting and relaxing with their friends, and some resting after some type of intense training. When Petra was walking you to your room, she explained that today was a free day for the new recruits joining, saying that you were basically allowed to do anything, such as roaming around the buildings, mess halls, training grounds, or simply just sleeping the day off because tomorrow you would begin training right away. 

Taking the opportunity of this free day to do whatever you wanted, you thought going to the training ground to practice would be the best option to take some things off your mind. It’s been almost 4 years since the death of your parents, tomorrow to be exact. Despite keeping a cool exterior the whole day to avoid being questioned by Ines of your well being, you’ve been keeping a smile plastered on your face the whole day, cracking jokes and laughing to avoid thinking about their death anniversary. It must have been a success since Ines hasn’t been playing doc with you and asking if you were okay every hour or so. She knows you keep a mask on, despite her efforts of trying to break and see past it, it was almost nearly impossible. You always had some type of smile resting on your lips, not giving away the racing thoughts running through your mind 24/7. 

“I think I’m going to stay here, you can go to the training grounds if you want.” Before you could respond, Ines' back was already facing towards you, making her to the snack bar. Slighting relieved that she left so you wouldn’t have to deal with keeping your resolved exterior, you made your way outside to the training ground. The field was huge, some parts covered with dirt and grass for hand to hand combat, and just beyond that field was a forest where tall trees stood high swaying in the air as the strong breeze blew through. Clasping together the final belt on your 3D gear, you make your way towards the trees, once in reaching distance to anchor your hooks, releasing some gas, you spring off the ground with ease, grappling your hooks in different trees as you whizz through the forest. 

The evening sun peeking through the open cracks of the treetops, the smell of wet grass and wood overwhelmed your senses, the warm wind howling past your ears as you cut through it with your flying body. You didn’t realize how long you were going into the forest until you heard your gas canister begin to spurt off small puffs of air. Slightly panicking you anchor your hooks onto a large tree branch to land on. Descending with great speed because of the unpredictable amount of gas left in your canister, you release your hooks on the other tree branch and anchored your right hook onto the giant tree trunk that you were about to smack right into, as the tree became closer as you fly down, you grabbed the hook stuck on the trunk with your left hand and swing your body around the trunk, using the momentum of your swing you wrapped around the trunk multiple times until you came to a complete stop. Sighing in relief that you didn’t eat shit just now, you looked up at your wires that wrapped around the tree. 

Hanging off from the side of the tree, you were still very high up from the ground, if your hook was to come to lose you would most definitely break something- SNAP! You quickly looked up at your hook to, oh so ironically, start to unravel around the tree, now unhooked from the trunk your wires begins unwind, zipping in circles it whips you a couple of times as it erratically twists and turns around the tree to connect back to your gear. You tried to grapple your other hook on another tree before your right hook finally unhooks around the tree but to no avail. Right, you were out of gas. Before you knew it, your hook finally found its way back into your gear, now no longer hooked to anything, you began to fall. Hitting a series of branches as you descend down the tree, falling with your back towards the ground, you try to reach out and grab onto the branches but only seem to pull each one down with you, shutting your eyes, you are ready to meet the impact of the cold forest floor. 

The raven hair corporal followed you out to the forest, of course, you didn’t know that, you didn’t notice that there was another pair of eyes watching you. From a distance Levi sighed as he saw you begin to plummet down from the trees, before you could hit the floor, he whizzed through the surrounding trees, as he made his way closer to you, he held his left arm out, wrapping it around your waist tightly, catching you midfall. With your arms tangled around his neck and legs wrapped tightly around his torso, you slowly open your eyes to meet icy grey ones. The corporal landed safely on the ground and connected his eyes with yours. It took you a minute to register that thee Captain Levi had just saved you from connecting with shit and that you were also clinging to him like a koala bear. The rattle of the tree leaves acted as calming background noise as you continued to stare at the silver eye man. 

“Aren’t you going to get down, cadet?” His baritone voice boomed throughout the silent forest. Eyes widening, you quickly dropped your hands from his neck and released your legs wrapped around his torso, with a small thud you fell on your bottom. This is so fucking embarrassing. Since when was he here? Did he see everything? Why is he even here? Questions flooded your brain as you stared up at the lance corporal in shock. 

“What are you looking at? Get up. The floor is dirty,” Breaking away from your thoughts you pull yourself up from the ground and dust yourself off before speaking up, “Thank you for helping me…” You flashed him your signature boxy smile as you bring up your hand for a salute, only to receive no facial expression in exchange. You sucked in a breath and explained.

“I ran out of gas-” Cut off by his demanding voice.

"Why are you even here in the first place brat? Without a partner to be exact, don’t you know the damn rules huh?”

“No Sir! I’m a new cadet, I just arrived today.” He only huffed in response, turning on his heel, he began to walk back to his horse. You were so lost in your thoughts when flying through the trees you didn’t even notice someone following you with a horse. Sure, you were well trained to notice peaking eyes but with the death of your parents' anniversary occupying your mind, you failed to notice you were being followed. Luckily it was only the corporal and not some pervert, if you were in a dire situation this mistake could have cost you your life.

Standing still with your eyes trained on the ground and dwelling over your thoughts, Levi turned around to face you, Is she even following me for fuck sake-Stopping mid-thought, he focuses on your soft features glowing perfectly as the evening sunsets on your face, the slight breeze swaying your hair behind your back if he didn’t believe in God you most definitely would have mistaken you as one. Really, the only reason he followed you into the forest was that cadets weren’t allowed to go off into the forest without another person with them and that you were probably the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes on. What are you thinking Levi? Snap out of it, you barely even know her. His eyes trail down your body, the way the straps from your gear perfectly hugged the curves of your body… without even realizing he was staring at you again. 

Pulling away from your inner thoughts you look up to meet eyes with the corporal, surprised that he was looking back at you, probably signaling you to follow him, you slightly stumble on your feet to make your way towards him. Clearing your throat as you begin walking next to him. 

"Sorry…” You wouldn't lie and say you weren’t nervous around him. Yeah sure, you heard he was attractive, but you didn’t think he would be THAT attractive, let alone the fact that he just saved you from probably breaking every bone in your body. 

“Tch, cmon get on.” He grabbed onto the horse and pulled his way up onto the tall steed as he responded. After getting himself onto the saddle he looked back down at you and offered his hand. Placing your palm on his, he pulled you up with ease. Adjusting a little bit behind him you looked down at your hands, not really sure where to place them. On his waist? No, that would be weird? But I would most likely fall off if I didn’t though... Of course, I should, that's the normal thing to do don’t make it weird. No… but I shouldn't, would he feel uncomfortable? Maybe hold onto his shoulder? Your eyebrows furrow as you weigh your options. Confused as to what was taking you so long, Levi glanced over his shoulder to see what was holding you up, he watched your perplexed complexion trained at your hands, how cute.

“What are you doing brat? Stop wasting my time.” He reached behind his back and pulled your hands around his waist.

“Good?” After hearing a small hum in response, he pulled on the reigns and made the way back to the compound. 

The sun was almost done setting, the bright oranges and yellows were now faded into blues and dark purples, a couple of stars already glistening in the skies. The warm afternoon was now cool and chilly as the night crept on. You rested the side of your head on the back of the captain’s back. Staring in the sunset and taking in the rare moments of bliss where your head is clear. Nothing, in particular, was in your mind, you had briefly forgotten about tomorrow, only focusing on the pounding of the horse's hooves on the ground and the steady heartbeat of the captain in front of you.

As the sun begins to completely shy away behind the walls, the silhouette of the base starts to come into view, you didn’t know just exactly how far you went out into the forest until now. When you were flying through the trees, you disregarded your responsibilities and safety, as if the farther you went the closer you were to your reckless 21-year-old self. Throughout the past four years, you were able to come to terms with their deaths, and that it wasn’t your fault. You had to move on, train harder, become better, so it will never happen again, you had other people to protect now, your own life and your friends. If you were to sit there on your ass dwelling on their deaths you would eventually meet your own. So you became better, you had to. You spent years pushing yourself to your limits to make it to this exact spot, and you basically ruined your first impression of the very man you were trying so hard to impress. Releasing your grip around his waist you brought your hands up to your face. Of course, you weren’t in his squad yet, though you did want to inch your way into it. Now there’s probably no chance of him looking your way after the stunt you pulled today. Groaning into your palms and dragging your hands down your face, you stare at his back with a slight pout on your lips. 

“If you fall off and break your ass, you better not complain to me.” Without responding, you snaked your arms back around his waist.

“You're with those new batches of graduated recruits?” You felt the vibrations of his voice against your body as he spoke up. You quickly respond to him saying that you were and that your training starts tomorrow. As you finish explaining the horse comes to a halt. You carefully jumped down from the tall steed and Levi followed right after. You quietly followed behind him while he brought his horseback. You patiently rocked back and forth while waiting for him to finish.

“You’re still here?” Met with his piercing grey orbs, he stood in front of you with his arms hooded across his chest. “Before I leave… I was wondering if you were going to be at the training grounds tomorrow,” A couple of seconds passed before he decided to respond to your question, “tsk where else would I be? You should head back to your quarters now...” with a slight pause, you finished his sentence with your name.

“Don’t tell me you don’t tell me you don’t know where your quarters are."

"No no don’t worry, I’m not that clueless.” With a warm smile plastered on your face, you saluted him a goodbye which he waved off and began making your way back to your room. You felt his eyes bore through your head as you walked away, turning back around on your heel. 

“Captain,” you looked straight back at him, “I hope you forget about my reckless actions today.” 

With a calm expression plastered on your face. “Please watch me carefully tomorrow, I am more capable than I seem.” Staring back at you with a blank expression, slightly taken aback and flustered at your request, he nodded. Your eyes sparkle in accomplishment as you begin making your way back to your dorms. 

You entered your room with a loud sigh, kicking off your boots and striping the ODM gear off your body, you trudged your feet towards your bed and plopped you face forward into your pillows. Kicking your feet behind you and letting out a muffled scream into your pillows caught the attention of Ines. 

“What happened? Why were you out so late?” You lifted your face out of your pillows as your hands flew up to your hair, thrashing it around. 

“Ines I must be crazy…” You couldn’t believe that you told the fucking lance corporal to watch you tomorrow.

“I must be insane, I think I’m going insane Ines,” kicking your feet around in embarrassment. You looked up to face the wide eye girl staring back at you with confused scorn on her face.

“Yeah you do look insane, are you going to tell me what happened or…” You started explaining to her your encounter with the captain, finishing your explanation with dread, you looked back at her with hopeless eyes. A minute of silence passed before Ines burst into a fit of laughter, you glared at her as she thrashed around in her little fit of giggles. Without budging a smile you stared at her in silence until she calmed down enough to say something. 

“Sorry… but don’t train with me tomorrow. I don’t want to be watched by Levi either.” Ending her sentence with another snicker that she terribly tried to hold back. You groaned again and laid down on your bed facing up at the ceiling.

“I already showered, c'mon you should go wash up.” Ines walked up to your bed and dropped a towel on your stomach. Grabbing the towel you slowly pulled yourself up and threw your feet over the bed and shuffled your way towards the bathroom without another word. 

You turned the showerhead on and waited a couple of minutes for the water to turn hot better stepping in. Letting the steaming water run down your body you close your eyes to take it in, lathering your jasmine scented shampoo on your body, you let out a small sigh. Your body relaxed under the steaming water pelting against your skin. Thinking about tomorrow only brought you a stomach of anxiety and dread. You were proud of your skills, you knew you were good, but would it be something he has never seen before, he was humanity’s strongest, after all, you wondered if your abilities would match his expectations. Another frustrated groan escapes between your lips. It seems that you have been groaning every single minute of the day, start to finish. Grabbing the towel that you hanged up earlier and tightly wrapping it around your body, you step out of the steaming bathroom back into the bedroom. 

You rummage through your unpacked luggage and grab out a pair of undies and an ankle-length sleeping gown. You were used to changing in front of others, really everyone had to become comfortable with seeing each other naked because privacy was just not something anyone could afford. Dropping the towel, the cool air hit your burning skin, the slight breeze from the open window pooling in and swirling around your body. With a shiver you hastily put on your clothes to avoid getting a cold, switching off the overhead lighting you blindly walked over to your bed. You pull your window blinds a little more open and watch at the moonlight pool into the room, providing just enough light so you wouldn’t have to sleep in complete darkness. Rolling back over to face the window, you watch the stars twinkle in the dark night in silence until sleep finally washes over you, without even realizing that you haven’t thought about your parents since your interaction with Levi, you let yourself drift off into slumber.


	3. Chapter Three

Clasping the last belt on your gear, you sucked in a sharp breath and began making your way out to the fields. Saying a series of greetings as you walked down the corridor. You woke up this morning with a stomach full of dread and anxiety, of course, no one knew that you were on edge and nervous throughout the day. You held your head high while training, practicing your combat skills with your partners with ease, you won every spar as expected. Even back at the training camp, no one was able to beat you in a hand to hand fight, the only one close to beating you was Mikasa, even with her freakishly good skills, your matches with her either ended up with no winner or a close tie. Just as Ines said last night about not wanting to pair up with you, as the rotations turned for partners you guys eventually had to fight in a match together. It wasn’t anything new since you did train her personally to become a better fighter, which meant you could easily predict her move since you were the one that taught them to her. 

“Well, so much for not wanting to match with me huh?” You purse your lips at her, pulling your hands into a fist, you bring them up to the side of your face and widening your feet just a tad bit since you knew her kicks are somehow dangerously strong. Her determined face softened as she flashed you a sheepish smile.

“I was joking yesterday! Don’t hold grudges!” She whined, knowing you would enjoy this match because she repeatedly mocked and laughed at you yesterday. Before you could respond she pulled her right fist up and sent a jab in your direction, with your keen discretion, you saw it coming, but if you were just a second behind, her fist would have connected with your jaw. Grabbing her wrist with your hand to block the flying fist, you pulled her towards you, just as she was close enough to you, you spun your body around, with her hand over your left shoulder, you stabilized your grip on her wrist and with ease, you threw her over your shoulder. The impact of the throw pushed the dirt and sand around, puffing up into the air as her body connected with the ground. 

Without hesitating, Ines quickly pulled herself back up to her feet. She was quick with her feet but you were faster, you already knew what she was about to do. Analyzing her stance, her right leg was slightly perched behind the left, she was going for a low kick this time. In a blink of an eye, her leg was already in the air, her foot pointed as she twisted her body using the momentum of the swing to gather strength for the kick. Her right leg swinging for your left thigh, you brought your left knee up to block the kick. Right away her right leg came back down, preparing for her next kick. 

You knew Ines used mainly offense in her fights, as well as having a strong lower body. Most of her attacks were kick combos, too fast to counter sometimes you have to block them or else they would connect with your body. You noticed from her first lower kick that her arms always lower from her face and it allowed you to play as an offense this time. As her right leg connected back with the floor from the kick just now, she wasted no time, stepping back, she brought the right leg back behind her left, swinging her right leg to gather momentum, she spun around in the air, once her body was parallel to yours. With her right leg now behind her, she used the momentum from the spin to bring up her left leg for a kick. The roundhouse kicked too fast to counter with an attack, you quickly brought your hands up to your face to block her kick from probably knocking out a few of your teeth. This entire time you have been playing on defense, taking the force of her attacks and using it back against her.

As she goes in with her third kick combo, you took this chance to take advantage of her weak upper body, because of her hands lowering in her kicks, it was left undefended. As she brings her right leg up for another kick to your lower calf, you pull your right leg back at the same time as her, twisting your body to the side, with a flexed foot, you bring your foot up to the side of her face for a high kick. Both yours and Ines’s kicks connected at the same time, as she went for a low kick to your left leg, your high kick knocked her over with the force of the kick. Tripping backward from the strength of your kick, she lost balance, using her hands to lessen the impact of her fall, she landed on her butt, with a frustrated moan, Ines lays on the floor, looking up at the sky,

“You okay? I didn’t mean to kick that hard,” Concerned you quickly ran over to her and hovered over her face, with a pout she responded, “no, no I’m fine,” She reached her hand out for your assistance, you pulled her up from the floor and waited for her to get back to her feet.

“How can you even move that fast? I didn’t even hesitate in my kicks! Is it really that easy to read my movements?” You let out a small chuckle. 

“If you weren’t fighting against me you would have won that fight don’t worry Ines, but make sure not to lower your upper body' guard next time.” With a wide grin, you brought your hand up to her head and pulled her into the side of your chest.

“Get off me,” You shook your head in response and continued to ruffle her hair. You didn’t realize that you had an audience watching yours and Ines’s match until you finally looked up at the other cadets gawking in awe. You heard a series of whispers and caught many stares. You looked back at Ines who was slyly scratching her head. A lot of times your matches garner attention from other cadets back at the training camp, because of how fast you could read your opponent's actions and spring into action right away.

“It seems like we have some reliable cadets this year right Captain?” Captain? Oh my god, Captain. You whipped your head behind, looking for the source of the voice, it was Petra. She gave you two encouraging thumbs up. You smiled at her and the other people standing next to her. Whom you were assuming were the other members of the Special Ops Squad. You and Ines walked over to the group and introduced yourself. As you were talking you could feel Levi’s gaze boring a hole right straight through your head, in your peripheral vision you could see him with arms crossed over his chest with an impassive look on his face. But you perfectly stayed calm under his piercing eyes, continuing to smile and converse with the others. 

Levi was a bit surprised when he saw your match with your friend. He already knew you were somewhat experienced considering how fast and well you maneuvered through the forest yesterday, but he didn’t expect you to be so skilled in hand and hand combat too, it made him wonder what made you act so recklessly yesterday. You had a small frame and a friendly face, but when you were on the field he knew you were in complete control of the fight, and that you would easily win. He picked up that your stances were similar to his, almost identical. As he watched you converse with the team he wondered who had taught you to have such keen senses. 

He wasn’t usually impressed with the freshman recruits because they never really stood out so it was refreshing to see a cadet with good battle instincts. Maybe he should train you personally and bring you into his team. He was pulled out of his thoughts when your beaming smile was looking back at him. He didn’t notice that the rest of his team was already walking away with your friend towards the mess hall. Turning around to glance at the group, she brought her eyes back to yours. Why is this woman always so damn happy? From a glance you guys were complete opposites, she always had some type of cheery expression plastered on her face, as to where he wore the same bored expression. You cleared your throat to encourage him to say something, anything.

“Not bad, meet me here tomorrow at the same time.” Slightly disappointed he didn’t say more, you nodded.

“May I ask why sir?” 

“Do I need a reason to train my cadets? Just do what I say.”

You nodded your head again in response. In the brief moment where both of you didn’t say anything, you took a moment to look at his features up close in brighter lighting. His freshly cut undercut, his floppy black bangs that hovered over his boring grey eyes. You couldn’t deny that you weren’t attracted to him, because you would just be lying. But you knew it would be inappropriate to have a crush on the fucking Captain, let alone trying to pursue any type of relationship with him other and a Corporal and cadet. Although you were in your mid-20s you were often mistaken for a teen, because of your small build and young features. But you assumed that Levi was also around your age, maybe a couple of years older considering the timeline you both joined, so a relationship with him shouldn't be completely inappropriate... 

“Well, I’m going to head to the mess hall.” You pointed your thumb behind you in the direction of the hall. He nodded in agreement and you both began walking side by side.

“Capt-”

“Just call me Levi.” You looked over to your side to face him, who was still facing straight toward. Turning your head back in front of you, “okay, Levi.” Your face lit up slightly in accomplishment, this means we are somewhat closer than yesterday right? You both talked while walking back towards the mess hall, it was mostly talking about the upcoming mission in a couple of days. He said something about this Hange person wanting to go out and capture a couple of titans for studying. You didn’t mind the talk about the mission, maybe it was a hint that he might bring you along. It wouldn’t be your first venture outside the walls, but it would be the first in three years.

Entering the hall, the room fell just an octave lower than it was originally at in the presence of Levi. He didn’t falter at the sudden quietness because he was used to it, making his way towards the cabinets to grab two cups, he turned his head back to you.

“Do you want some tea?” You awkwardly nodded in response because of the dozens of eyes glued to you and Levi. He turned his head around and began fixing both you and him a cup of tea. You look around the room trying to find many familiar faces and to your luck, Ines and the rest of the Levi squad are already hushing you over to their table. You were always impressed with Ines’s social skills and ability to get along with others quickly, if it wasn’t for her you would have been very lonely for the past 4 years. Levi turned around and handed you a cup of piping hot tea and made his way towards the table without another word. You follow closely behind, more comfortable now that the many eyes that were trained on you earlier were no longer lingering. You sat down in between Levi and Ines. 

“Hmm… you. You just seem so familiar, I can’t put my finger on it.” From the earlier introductions outside, you remember the male with the long blonde hair, Eld. You slightly scrunch your eyebrows together and cocked your head to the side. 

“Huh? Have we met before?” You rack your brain, trying your best to recall ever meeting the tall blonde.

“You’ve met her before Eld?” Petra asked looking back and forth between you and Eld.

“Oi! you couldn't have possibly been a part of the mission a couple of years ago to reclaim Wall Maria were you?” Your eyes widened but before you could answer Eld continued, “you were that girl that took down that titan without any gear right?!” His voice grew a little bit louder in excitement as he finally figured out why you looked so similar. 

“Without ODM? Is that even possible?” Petra also beamed in curiosity. You shifted in your seat and leaned in forward towards Eld and Petra sitting across the table, “You were the guy on the horse that Ines brought right? That was me!” Besides you, you could hear Ines gasp and see her clasp her hands around her mouth. You were also in a bit of a shock, everyone kind of was. 

Many people that went out on the reclamation mission a couple of years either died or went on with their lives trying their best to rebuild their homes inside the walls and start a new family. You and Ines were one of the couple dozen of cadets that joined the training camp after the mission. 

“How did you manage to kill a titan without gear?” The raven hair man asked while keeping a nonchalant face and continued sipping on his tea. You explained how to manage to kill the titan, obviously leaving out the part where you had a complete meltdown right after. Thinking back about that day, you were sure that you only survive because of pure luck. It was one of your darkest days, you wanted to so badly let the titan just grab you and devour you so no longer had to lament over your miserable life. Your face slightly fell at the thought of thinking back about your past, which only Levi noticed. But before he could study it, you had already pulled yourself back together before anyone else could notice. He was intrigued about your character, he wanted to know more about you, why you decided to join the military, why you were always so happy and upbeat, and why you wore that impenetrable mask. 

The rest of the break continued with you and the rest of the squad talking about random things and getting to know each other a little more. You had quickly made a connection with Petra, maybe because she was the one you met first or simply because she was the only other girl on the squad. As the break came to an end, everyone bid their goodbyes and made their way towards their room. Ines told you that she had some things to take care of and left as well. It was only you and Levi sitting in the mess hall now. The day began to wind down as the purple and oranges danced around in the sky as the sun began to set. You weren’t completely sure why Levi was still here considering how busy of a man he is. You both sat at the table in uncomfortable silence, well maybe it was only you who felt uncomfortable because Levi didn’t seem to mind your presence. After a couple of minutes of the quietness of you both sipping on your tea, Levi broke the silence. 

“So you were out in the reclamation of Wall Maria huh?” You pulled your eyes off your teacup to face him. 

“Yeah I was…” With slight hesitation, you decide to continue, “actually I was in Wall Maria when the colossal and armored titan broke in. They scouted me out to the reclamation not long after.” Levi was looking right at you when you were talking, you squirmed under his intense gaze as you continued to talk. He hummed in response after your answer. You didn’t include that you were living in Maria when you were explaining to the rest of his squad so you weren’t sure why you felt the need to tell Levi. It was a little bit difficult to carry a conversation with him because you didn’t know anything about him nor did he know anything about you.

“Levi,” he raised his bored eyes from his cup to meet your eyes, “do you think- ah nevermind, sorry forget it.” He rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Just spit it out brat,” You awkwardly scratch your head and began again.

“Do you think I can join your squad? I mean you don’t even have to consider it, if I don’t meet your requirements then just forget it, but I would like it if I was a part of your squad, well if you needed an extra member… ” Levi stared at you for a couple of seconds after listening to you nervously ramble. He was taken aback at how blunt you were, or just how easily you spoke what was on your mind and what you wanted. 

He was already considering adding you and your friend on his squad, but he decided to tease you just a bit just to see how you would react. He leaned in forward towards you, a little bit too close, with slightly raised eyebrows and a small smirk plastered on his lips. 

"Is that what you want?” He saw the evident panic rising in your eyes because of the flustering question. Stumped on your words you kept opening your mouth to say something and closing it right after. You watch as Levi turned his head to the side away from you and let out a stifled chuckle, it was so quick that you thought you were hallucinating it. He collected his composure and turned around back to you, without saying anything else he stood up and picked up his cup. You sat and watched as he made his way towards the doors of the corridor, but before opening the door he looked back behind his shoulder. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, he left you sitting in alone in the middle of the mess hall. His oddly intimate and flustering questions kept replaying in your mind and you pondered on what it could have possibly meant. He didn’t really answer your question or reject it either. You sigh as you dragged your feet back into your room. It seems like every time you had an encounter with Levi you were often left rendered speechless or embarrassed. You turned the doorknob quickly to make sure not to wake up Ines if she was sleeping, which she was, and tried your best to undress quietly as possible. 

Winter was nearing as the daylight ticked down, most days the sun had already set by 5 pm. You enjoyed the solace of the night, there weren't any titans running around for anyone to worry about, it was always something you cherished because it offered you the rare free time that barely any cadet gets. So you spend most nights lying awake doing miscellaneous things, whether it was reading a book, stargazing, or just lying down and staring out into the unknown. The peacefulness of the night allowed you to break free from your thoughts but it always allowed you to think, a little bit too much. You often overthink and hyper fixated on your actions throughout the day, you subconsciously do it without realizing, maybe it was a way you found best to deal with trauma. You knew well that it wasn’t healthy and dragging yourself down for past mistakes would only hold you back. It wasn’t until you met Levi that you had a sudden urge to just spill your entire life story to him, it sounds ridiculous considering you have only known him for a couple of days, but it was just a feeling you couldn’t avoid. Especially when you were both talking alone together, when he asked about the Maria mission, you wanted to tell him more, you wanted to tell him how much you beat yourself over their deaths, you wanted to ask him how he was able to move past the death of his friends and family. You held back obviously, not wanting to break down that wall that held up for the past 4 years. While thinking back on the day, you didn’t notice when you slowly started to drift off, or that fell asleep with Levi on your mind. 

Levi sighed as he finished his last stack of papers, dropping his pen on the desk and throwing his head back on his chair. Staring at the ceiling, he thought back to you. It was odd for him to let someone he has just met to occupy his mind as you did. He was just so curious about you, he wanted to figure out why you were so preoccupied with your thoughts in the forest that you didn’t notice your surroundings. He knew you were a good soldier, so what made you lose your grip? Why were you such a good soldier in the first case? Why do you always look so happy even though he knew behind your smile, something was thawing at you. He lifted his head and got on his feet. It was almost 3 am, not that he slept often anyways, he walked over to his small tea table and fixed himself another cup of tea. He sat back down while he waited for the tea leaves to blend with the boiling water. He spent the rest of the night trying his best to get you off his mind, but before he could even try, he dozed off with you on the tip of his thoughts. 

The next day went just as you expected, you showed up on the training field at the same time Levi had instructed. You spent most of your days personally training with him for the next couple of weeks. He later asked Erwin for permission to add you and Ines to his squad. You went out on missions with the squad and quickly rose to the ranks in a year. Your relationship with Levi became a bit more intimate as months went on. It wasn’t obvious where anyone could guess that you two were in some type of relationship, but it was clear that Levi had a spot soft for you. Everyone noticed how he often gave you the easiest cleaning duties or letting you off training earlier. You and Levi both knew that there was some type of unspoken bond that you've built together in the past year, but no one has ever mentioned it. As your days with Levi grew longer, the turning feeling in your stomach of getting close to another person clung on your shoulders every day and Levi felt this as well. Despite the anxiety of getting closer to each other, either one of you showed any sign of stopping anytime soon.


	4. Chapter Four

It’s been a year since you have joined the scout regiment, a year since you graduated from the training camp. Which meant that today was also the day that Eren and others graduate as well. You internally hoped that they still had the goal of joining the scout's regiment because you were desperate to see their faces again.

“Look! It’s captain Levi. They say he’s like an entire brigade unto himself!” You look over to Hange and then back again to Levi and let out a small chuckle at his unamused face. You turned away from them to straighten out the reins on your horse before the mission began. You scanned the crowd for any familiar faces, not really looking for anyone, in particular, just a distraction to ease your racing heart. No matter how many times you have gone out past the walls in the past years, there was always a sinking feeling in your stomach before every embark. Before you completely tore your eyes away from the crowd, a pair of sparkling emerald eyes caught your attention, you leaned in forward and squinted your eyes a bit to make sure you saw who you thought you saw. It was Eren. Delight flashed across your face as you waved your hands in the air to catch his attention, which he didn’t notice. Sitting up a little bit higher you called out his name.

“Eren! Erennnn!” His eyes latch on yours, you watch his face light up as he frantically waves his hand back at you. Levi turned his head over in your direction, wondering what the hell you were screaming about, he watched as your eyes lit up as you made eye contact with someone in the crowd. He tried to follow your view of direction but it was no use since he had no idea what the person you were calling out to looked like. He was cut out of his thoughts when the walls started rumbling. 

You passed Eren a couple of minutes ago, now focusing on preparing to venture out the walls. It was nice that you got to see him before going out on this expedition, it gave you a little push to make sure you make it back alive today to talk to him. You looked over at Levi ready to tell him about how you just saw one of your old friends, not that he really cares, but you enjoyed babbling about random things to him. Your face fell slightly at the sight of Levi pulling Hange head in towards his face. Flustered you turned away from the scene quickly and covered your red ears with your hands. It wasn’t anything new with the way Levi and Hange interacted, you were only flustered because you had immediately thought of him initiating contact with you like that. You snapped out of your thoughts as the group began splitting out into smaller groups. 

You were with Petra and Ines and a couple of other scouts whom you never really spoke to before. It didn’t take long before your group was bombarded with titans coming from every corner. You’ve managed not to lose any of your members in the midst of fighting the smaller titans that ransack the town. You knew that your team's gas wouldn’t hold out for long if you all continued squandering it as fast as you were. 

“Petra, we are going to run out of gas if we continue like this.” You landed on the tile roofs next to her breathless from swinging around and killing any titan you see in your path for the past couple of hours. She scanned around trying to locate the rest of the members, Ines and the others just had finished up on a pair of titans, Petra whistled to garner their attention and waved her hands to call them over.

“Okay, we need to meet back up with Captain Levi and inform him that we're almost all out of gas.” Everyone nodded and dispersed and made their way towards where Levi was. Your face contorted in pain as you pushed yourself off your feet to swing through the buildings. 

Earlier you were cornered by multiple titans, and if it wasn’t for the adrenaline pumping through your body, you wouldn’t have acted as fast to dodge the flying debris falling from the sky. Although you manage to kill two of the titans, you were only able to slash the last titans Achilles, while trying to flee from the titan, it managed to grabbed you by the ankle while it was falling from its slashed Achilles, pulling you down from the sky and sent you flying down across the tiled roofs, but manage to gather yourself onto your feet and make a run for it before the titan completely heals. Despite your injury, you push through for the next couple of minutes to get to Petra and inform her about your low gas. 

You heard a blood-curdling scream in the distance as you grew closer to where Levi was, you picked up your speed despite knowing that it probably wasn’t Levi that was in danger. His forest green cape flies past you in your peripheral vision, you watch as he grapples his hook across a building right behind the titans' nape and quickly slices it off with ease. You swiftly flew over to him along with the rest of your team. You all landed on the roof waiting for Levi’s instruction.

“Captain, reinforcement is here but we are low on gas,” Levi glanced over to make sure you were there, with a small sigh of relief, he turned his head back to scan the situation. 

“Good, go tend to our comrade below, Petra. You and Ines go to the titan on the right, I’ll take care of the pair on the left.”

Everyone nodded in unison and went their separate ways. You grapple your hooks onto the walls to make your way behind the titan trying your best to take the direction that would require the least amount of gas and movement. With Ines by your side, as you both near the titan, Ines uses the momentum of her swing and grabs your forearm, spinning you around and launching you towards the nape of the titan. You use the force of the launch to cleanly slice of the titan's nape. Landing on the roof across to where Ines threw you, you both watch as the titan falls face forward onto the ground. You nodded at her, signaling that it was dead and both made your way back to Petra to offer more help.

You landed next to Petra and your comrade whose torso was almost a bit cleanly off. Wiping the steaming titan off your cheek you kneel next to them. You heard Petra quietly whisper with shaking hands on the bloody torso.

“Captain… I can’t stop the bleeding,” Your eyes follow Levi’s body as he made his way over to you guys. 

“C-captain Levi,” you fix your eyes back to your comrade who was bleeding out.

“I’m here.” Levi grasped his hand in his.

“Did I help? I made a difference right?” You pull yourself up to your feet and tore your eyes away from your dying comrade. You turn your back to them and focus on Levi’s voice as he speaks. You grips tighten around your blades and shut your eyes close to distracting yourself. Focusing on slowing down your breathing and keeping your composure. Your eyes fly open when you feel a hand on your shoulder, you look over to meet Levi’s eyes. Your body immediately relaxes under his touch and you slide his hand off your shoulder to let him know that you were fine. 

The pounding of hooves coming towards your direction tore everyone’s attention away from your fallen comrade.

“Erwin? What are you doing here?” You walked up a bit closer to the commander.

“We need to pull out now.” Everyone faces contortions in confusion, Levi steps in front of you to get closer to Erwin.

"What the hell are you talking about? You want to pull out now and let these cannibals overrun us?” He cocks his head and grunts.

“There are titans attacking north of the city. It's just like Wall Maria, I wouldn’t be surprised if the wall is already in rumbles. We need to head back now.” 

You felt your heart stop for a moment, this can’t be happening again. You felt Ines place her hand over your death grip on your swords. Your breathing begins to quicken again but you don’t let it show in your exterior.

“I’ll take our group back along with Hange and the others then.” Your voice was a bit shaky but no one had seemed to notice because they were all in shock. Levi shook his head and pulled you towards him by the sleeve of your shirt.

“No, I need you to come with me. Petra and Ines will go bring the injured and dead back with Hange.” Everyone agreed and made their way towards their designated groups. You waited until the others were at a far enough distance before walking up to Levi.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to have me out with them? They need my skills, Levi.” You didn’t make eye contact with Levi as you talked, focusing on tying up the reins on your horse to prepare for the ride back. It was a bit rude on your part but you don’t have a complete hold on your emotions or composure, so it was best not to confront him face to face. 

“With that ankle of yours? Don’t be reckless. You barely have any gas left too, I don’t need you dying today.” You looked up with slightly wide eyes, “I saw you limping earlier, so don’t…” He paused and walked a little bit closer, only a couple of inches away from you, “look at me,” he placed a hand on your shoulder and turned you around, “don’t do stupid shit, if you’re injured tell the rest of the team. Don’t go out trying to be a hero and get yourself killed. I thought you knew better than this.” He stared at you with deadpan eyes. You didn’t wear any type of expression on your face so he couldn’t read your reaction either.

You didn’t respond to him, instead, you turned around and pulled yourself onto your horse.

“We should get going,” You still had your back turned to him, you heard the shuffling of his feet and the rattling of the reins behind you. Levi pushed off first and followed closely behind. You both rode in complete silence for a couple of minutes before he decided to break it.

“Why are you acting like this? It isn’t like you,” He still had his eyes trained in front of him while talking, you let the question float in the air for a while before saying anything. 

“I’m not acting like anything.” He knew you were lying, it wasn’t really like you tried to hide the fact you were lying, you just didn’t want to admit that you were scared. When Erwin announced that the wall had been broken in again, your first thought was on Eren’s and everyone else's wellbeing. It wasn’t fair, you had just reunited with him a couple of hours ago but now you aren’t even sure if he was still alive or not. The regret of befriending people slowly catching up to you in real-time.

“Don’t lie to me.” You picked up your speed so you were side by side with Levi and let out a deep sigh.

“I’ve never told anyone except Ines, but my parents died during the breach of Maria, and someone else that I cherish is in those walls today, I don’t know if they are alive or not. This whole thing doesn’t feel real Levi, I don’t know what to do.” He didn’t say anything, he only looked over to study your face, you were slipping, just barely. He respected you as a soldier because of how you put your emotions aside for the mission. He hasn’t seen you slip up your exposure since the day in the forest a year ago. Through the many ventures outside the walls you have been on, he knew that he didn’t have to worry about you going off the rails and do something reckless because of your emotions, so seeing you lose your grip like this was a shock to him. He wanted to comfort you but he wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate, he knew too well about losing people, and he knew apologizing wouldn’t bring you anymore solace so he opted on not saying anything at all.

You felt so vulnerable after telling Levi about your parents, as if you couldn’t be any more exposed today, you just had to let your mask fall off and have Levi question your reliability in a time like this. He didn’t say anything after you had told him about your parents and your concern for Eren, which you were grateful for. You thought he was going to chew you out and tell you to get your shit together because this wasn’t the best time to have your mind on something else. You pulled a smile on your face and turned your head to face him.

“Don’t worry, you can still count on me. I’ll try my best not to get us killed.” You chuckled a little in an attempt to ease the tension and sat up straighter. You can see Levi quickly glance over at you in your peripheral vision, you turn to face him again and offer him a small smile. You suck in a deep breath, “I’m okay, really.” Levi was still staring at the side of your face while you looked straight forward. Honestly, he didn’t even know how to respond to you, he wasn’t one to spare someone’s feelings, but you just often left him speechless. He didn’t know if he should console you or encourage you to pull yourself together before reaching the walls.

You knew that telling him about your past would have probably put him in an uncomfortable situation because he wasn’t one to baby someone. So you did most of the talking to ride back to the wall. It wasn’t anything important, you were just rambling to momentarily distract yourself and Levi just rode in silence listening to nervously ramble. He picked up that it was something you did to distract yourself, and he was aware that you only seem to ramble to him. Most of the time he pretends to be annoyed but he would intently listen to what you were saying. It was one of the vicarious ways he could see into your life instead of actively asking you about yourself. You were oblivious to how much Levi actually pays attention to you which he was somewhat grateful for because Hange seems to easily notice how often he asks or looks for you. Or how he always wants you in his breakout squads or at least stationed close to him in expeditions. He knew that he had some type of feelings towards you, but he hasn’t admitted that to you yet, or to himself, really. 

Throughout the past year, as you spent more and more time with Levi, your little attraction towards him grew into an oblivious crush. You knew that there was some type of tension between the two of you, you also knew Levi felt the tension too, but you both never tried to pursue each other officially. Maybe to spare each other’s reputation, but that was just an excuse you both made up to avoid confronting each other. Your rambling came to a halt when to spot multiple titans roaming near the wall. You look over at Levi for further instruction. 

He grumbled something incoherent under his breath before turning to you, “I’ll clear them out, you continue up ahead and avoid getting into combat.” 

“What? No, let me help you, there’s too many,” As you both near the wall, the Titans came into closer proximity. He shook his head. 

“You don’t have any gas left, just listen to me, okay?” There was a flash of desperation in his eyes, it went as fast as it came. But you insisted, “there’s enough for me to manage,” He shook his head angrily this time and drew his blades out from its sheath. 

“Fuck brat, just listen to me okay? Let me handle this, just get yourself on top of the wall and wait for me.” With that, he flew off his horse and went over to the hoard of titans. You knew it was your turn to pull your side of the weight and made your way towards the wall as Levi cleared a path for you to pass through safely. 

Looking up at the wall, there was a giant hole going right through it. There was a loud bang and a red signal smoke can be seen rising from within the wall. What the hell is happening behind there?! You tighten your legs around the steed to make it gallop faster, once in reaching the distance of the wall, you pull yourself up and fire your hooks up onto the wall. Climbing up the side of the wall, you released the hooks and kept firing them higher until you made it to the top of the wall. You fell to your knees once you finally landed on top. Just as you turned around to look for Levi, he landed down right next to you. He offered his hand to pull you up but before you could take a hold of it, the wall began to shake and crumble underneath you. You quickly grabbed onto his hand and pulled yourself up. There was a loud roar, you both started running towards the other side of the wall and peaked down to see what all the commotion was. Your eyes widened at the sight of Mikasa and Armin holding an unconscious Eren next to a giant decaying titan and a boulder that had blocked the hole in the wall.

Your feet picked up before your words could leave your mouth, you flew down near the two titans hovering over Mikasa and the others. Right behind you, Levi followed in a synchronized manner you both launched yourself off the wall and positioned yourself right above the titan's nape, you pulled your swords to the side of your face, spinning down at an accelerated rate, you slashed the blades across the back of the titans a neck and landed down on top of the titans ahead. You pulled your blades behind you and jumped down from the titan's body and ran over to Mikasa. Nothing left your mouth as you fell to your knees next to Eren's unconscious body. 

“H-he’s alive, don’t worry,” You looked up to meet Armin’s tear welled eyes. A sigh escapes your lips and you let your head fall back down in relief. You saw Eren as the younger brother you never had, his burning motivation and unkindled spirit was the reason you approached him in the first place. There were times where you wanted to give up on joining the scouts and live an easier life within the walls, but he usually brought you back to your senses. You place your hand on top of Mikasa. 

“Are you alright?” she nodded in response and you offered her a warm smile. They’re all alive. 

“Oi you kiddos, does anyone want to tell me what the hell I am looking at?” You direct your attention back to Levi who was still standing on the other titans' head. On the way back to the inner gate, Armin explained Eren’s titan ability and their plan to use him to secure the breach in the wall, you only nodded your head as he explained but nothing was really processing in your head. It wasn’t a great time to ask questions because you were sure everyone else only knows as much as you do, so you held back on bombarding him with questions. Armin and Mikasa brought Eren back into the inner walls for protection and questioning for later.

The rest of the day the scout's regiment and the garrisons and other branches of the military were assigned to get rid of the rest of the titans roaming inside. You refilled your gas and met up with the others who went with Petra and Ines earlier and broke off into smaller groups. Your group was assigned to clear the taller titans as the scouts were more elite with combat. The mission ended with a success, the first human’s win against the titans, but there were just too many deaths for anyone to happily celebrate.

In the next couple of days, it was declared that Eren would join Levi’s squad under his personal protection to test out the limits and learn more about his titan ability. You were beyond happy that you were able to watch over Eren knowing that he was a part of the squad. You were able to catch up with him at night where he wasn’t being monitored 24/7 by the rest of the members. Of course, the others were wary of him, as were you but you didn’t want to show him that you saw him as some type of monster. So most of the time you offered to watch over Eren instead, just to make him and everyone else a little bit more comfortable. They had a hunch that you two knew each other but no one dared to ask you about it. They knew that there wasn’t much known about you since you joined, as you barely told anyone about your past nor were there people who knew you in the past to ask about. Though there was Ines, she would usually laugh off their inquiries about you. 

After the first initial days of arriving at the old scout regiment castle, you were too busy to monitor Eren so you had to leave that for Levi to carry out. You had paperwork to plan out and had to prepare for the 57th expedition and so did everyone else. There was talk that Erwin would make you a section commander but nothing was confirmed. You spent the month training and helping out Eren learn a couple of tricks on the ODM gear in your free time. 

Twas the night before the expedition and everyone was on edge, no one had an appetite except Sasha who munched on her bread with a despondent look sprawled across her face. You had some paperwork to fill out with Levi, so you stopped by the mess hall to brew him some tea before going over to his office. You offered him help with his paperwork for the past couple of weeks so no one questioned you entering and leaving the captain’s room in the middle of the night anymore. There were some rumors nonetheless, most likely spread by some of the rookies but you didn’t really mind it if it didn’t taint either yours or the captain's reputation. You carried the tray up to his office and softly knocked on his door to announce your presence. There was no response so you knocked again but still nothing, so you just slowly opened the door in case he fell asleep.

Levi had his face shoved into his hands but he pulled his head up from his palms to look at who opened his door, he was ready to scold whoever entered his room without invitation but his eyes softened when he saw you walking through his door with your warm smile. His eyes followed you as you made your way over to his desk and placed the tray of tea down.

“I thought you’ll need a cup tonight,” You place the cup in front of him and place your cup in front of you. You sat down in front of his desk and sighed as you sipped on the tea. “I understand why you love your tea so much now,” He hummed in response and brought the cup to his lips. He knew you weren’t the best at brewing tea but this time around it was much better than the first time you tried to brew him a cup. Your eyes scan his room, it was usually spotless but there were a couple of piles of paper sprawled on his floor and stacks that towered on his desk. 

“Hand me a stack I’ll help you. You will never get any sleep if you continue like this.” It wasn’t really a suggestion, so you grab a stack off his desk and a pen and place it on your lap.

“Thank you, but it’s not like I get any sleep anyway. That damn eyebrows always handing me shit to fill out." 

“Don’t worry, I’ll fill these out as if my life depended on it Cap,” You brought your hand up to your chest and jokingly saluted which he playfully rolled his eyes at. He picked up his pen and began going back to filling out his reports, every once and a while glancing over at your concentrated face furiously filling out the forms. He really appreciated you coming in and helping him with his paperwork for the past couple weeks, the days you came in were often spontaneous so he never really knew when you would come or not, nonetheless, it was a pleasant surprise when you did come knocking in his room in the middle of the night. 

You both work in silence filling out the papers to the best of your abilities but it isn't soon till you feel a bit drowsy. Levi glanced over to watch your head snapping in and out of consciousness, a small smile displayed on his lips. Just as your head was about to collide with his desk in front of you, he reached his hand out to catch your head from slamming into the corner of his table. 

“Ah this brat… coming here when she’s this worn-out tch.” He dropped the pen in his other hand and stood up from his seat, while still having a hold on your forehead, he pulled your body back to the back of the chair. He grabbed the small pile of papers left on your lap and placed it on his desk. 

You manage to finish a little more than half of the piles laid out on his floor, so it would probably take him a couple of more minutes to finish up the rest of the remaining papers. He scooped you up bridal style and walked over to his bed and carefully placed you onto the mattress. He took off your reading glasses and placed them on the nightstand. He sat down next to you on the bed and watched your chest rise and fall with every breath. Your hair falling over your face as you turned your head to the side. Without thinking, he brought his hand up to your face and tucked the strand behind your ear, and moved his face closer to yours. His lips hovered over yours, his mind was screaming at him to just connect your lips, with every second that passes his lips grow closer to yours. His left hand was placed next to your head on the mattress to support his weight as he leaned in closer. Inches away from your lips, your eyebrows began to furrow, Levi slowly pulled away to watch you thrash your head from side to side, your closed eyes sneezing tighter. He hadn’t noticed the beads of sweat dripping down from your forehead. She must be having a nightmare. He debated whether to wake you up or not but opted not to consider how tired you were. 

Standing up from the bed he turned around and began walking back to his bathroom to get a wet towel. But before he could take a step, your hands flew up to his wrist to prevent him from walking away. His eyes widened slightly when he turned around to face you. Your other arm was perched upon the mattress to hold up the weight of your upper body, your face was facing down onto the mattress, your hair clinging onto the sides of your sweaty forehead. Levi was taken aback at how vulnerable you looked. Your grip around his wrist loosened as you slipped out of consciousness again, your face dropped onto the mattress and your hand limply hanging off the side of the bed. He placed both of his hands on the sides of your face and lifted it to examine your state.

You were still knocked out. He positioned your head back on the pillow and made sure you were a bit farther away from the side of the bed, just in case you decided to move and end up falling off. He rolled up his sleeves and grabbed a clean towel in his cabinet and soaked it with cold water. Walking back over to the bedside, he dabbed the sweat off your forehead. Once he was done he placed the towel on your forehead. He tucked a few of the front wet strands of hair behind your ear. With your eyes still closed, your hand wrapped around his fingers. Levi stopped what he was doing, moving in a bit closer to figure out if you were sleeping or not. Your eyes slowly fluttered open, his grey orbs met yours, and for a brief moment, neither of you were breathing. You blinked a couple of times to focus your vision.

“Levi, what are you doing?” Your voice is quiet and still. Your face remained emotionless despite the intimidates of the situation. A little groggy from the nap, you didn’t really process what was happening. He stared at you for a while, he memorized how penetrable your eyes were at this exact moment, how easily he could see right through them for the first time.

“You know you snore a lot?” His voice was so low, you could feel the bass vibrations as he hovered above you. You release your grip over his hand that was placed on the side of your face and brought both of your hands up to cover your face. Your hands came on contact with a wet towel on your forehead, you dropped your hands from your face and pulled the towel off to examine it. You lifted the towel to Levi’s face and waved it around.

“What is this, what are you even doing? Why are you so close- ” You only now realize how close your bodies were and how close Levi’s face was to yours. You let out a small gasp and cross your hands over your chest. Levi rolled his eyes and pulled back away from you and sat up straight on the bed. He slipped on his slippers that were placed next to the bed and shuffled back to his desk with his hands in his pockets. You pulled yourself up and swung your legs over the bed, you glanced over at the side table to check the time. 

“It’s 2 in the morning?” You got up to your feet and made back your way over to Levi, whos already immersed in the stack of papers on his desk, “When did I knock out?” You sat back down on the chair and scooted in closer until your knees hit his desk.

"Around 12,” He didn’t bother to look up from his papers, you slapped your hands over your face and dragged them down over your mouth.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, I said I was going to help you out but I just ended falling asleep, sorry…” You reach out to grab the remaining papers on his desk but his hands flew on top of yours, preventing you from picking them up.

“It’s okay, you did a lot already, this will take me a couple of more minutes so just… just go back to bed or something. You can use mine if you want, I don’t mind.” You pulled your hands away and brought them back down to your lap. You fumbled with your fingers for a couple of minutes before deciding to ask him, 

“Levi, what were you doing earlier?”

“Do you often get nightmares like that?” 

“Oh, so you saw… No, I don’t actually, well I used to get them quite often but this was the first time they came back in 4 years.” 

You continue to fumble your fingers in your lap without making eye contact with Levi. “Do you want to talk about it?” You debated for a moment, you didn’t want anyone, especially Levi, to see you in such a vulnerable state, but you decided to tell him anyway.

“Remember when I told you my parents died in Maria? I’ve been blaming myself for years, I know it couldn’t possibly be my fault but I just…” You choked up on your words a bit before continuing, “I don’t want to lose anyone else I care about, the dream has always only been my parents but, I saw you this time. You were in my arms, dying. And I couldn’t do anything about it. I was just as useless as I was back then, I wasn’t able to save you, I lost another person I care about.” You sucked in a breath and stood up so fast the chair flew back a couple of feet. You brought your hands up to your face and turned around and focused on controlling your breathing. Your breathing became more and more irregular as your hands began to shake around your face. 

“Hey hey, look at me…” Levi stood in front of you and pulled your hands away from your face and held them together in his grasp. 

“I’m okay, I’m here, see?” Your legs began to feel like jello and you gave him a desperate look. He dropped your hands and wrapped his arms tightly around your body. You instantly crumble under his embrace, falling to the ground while he holds you. You nuzzled your face into the crook's neck and brought both of your hands around his back. You tighter your grip on his loose shirt and dug your face even deeper into his neck. 

You somehow manage not to cry, maybe because of how well you held in your tears in the past. You haven’t cried ever since the reclamation mission 4 years ago. And to think you were on the brink of tears in front of the man you admired… the man you love. You love him. Your grip on his shirt loosen and you let your hands fall down onto the side of his waist. He pulled away from the embrace and placed both of his hands on the sides of your face to check if something was wrong. His eyes roam your face to try and read any type of expression you had on but there wasn’t one. He couldn’t read you at all. “Levi,” He hummed in response. 

You locked onto his grey orbs, “Can I kiss you?” His right hand dropped down a bit to wrap behind your neck. He glances at your glistening eyes and then down at your plump lips. You desperately followed his eyes, hoping that he would just close in the space already. Your heart was beating so fast that it could literally jump right out of your chest. As he draws his face in closer, you shut your eyes, and your fingers grip around the fabric of the hem of his shirt. A second goes by that feels like an eternity.

He finally connects his lips onto yours. His lips were so soft against yours, you felt like you could just melt underneath him. His right hand still reinforces your neck, his left-hand finds its way around your waist. Supporting your neck, he slowly laid your head down on the floor, your legs spread apart slightly because of his thighs in between your legs. Your hands began roaming around his back, up to his neck, to pull him deeper into the kiss, your hands interlock together behind his neck. You let out a stifled moan when he bit down on your lower lip. You pulled away, breathless, and lifted your neck to place your forehead on his. You unlock your hands that were interlocked behind his neck and place caressed his face softly. A burst of wind blew into the room from the open window, his ebony bangs swaying back and forth from the breeze as he hovered above you. He leaned down for another kiss but you placed both your hands on his chest to stop him from doing so.

“Are we really going to make out on the floor?” He tsked annoyingly and placed his hands underneath your knees, instinctively your hands wrap around his neck to support your weight. He gently placed you down onto the mattress. Underneath him, you turned your head to the side to hide the fact of how red your cheeks were. He leaned down and placed a small peck on your lips, cheeks, jawline, making his way down to your neck. You bit down on your bottom lip to suppress a moan, his slender fingers flew up to your top. Agonizingly slow, he started unbuttoning each button, placing a trail of chaste kisses down your ab line as he reached each button of your shirt. Finally reaching the last button, his lips pulled away from your skin, he sat up to admire your bare top, you still had your bra on so you weren’t completely nude, still, it was a bit embarrassing being the only one showing skin.

Your hands flew up to his collar, pulling him down, you crashed your lips onto his. Your hands quickly flew through the buttons of his shirt. Using his wrist and pinned your hands to the side of your face, he reached down to finish off, releasing the rest on the buttons and tossed his shirt onto the floor. Both of your pants shortly followed the same fate as your tops. Both of you were breathing heavily, gasping for air after breaking away from the long kiss. 

“Levi…” His eyes traveled up your body to meet your eyes. 

“What is it? Do you want me to stop?” You shook your head. Because it wasn’t something you said often, it was hard to just say it to his face. So you decided it was best to just show it to him instead. 

You brought your hands up to cup his face, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you forward. You sat up, cradling him with your legs wrapped around his waist. His hands moved down to your bum, pushing up even further, so now he was looking up at you. You swayed side to side in the position, placing slow and small kisses on the side of his neck. This went on for a couple of minutes before he decided to intervene. His hands left your bum, holding onto your wrist that cupped his face, and brought them down to your lap. “How long do you plan on teasing love?” You blushed at the nickname. Maybe you were holding back, because Levi was, for your sake of course. 

You pull your hands away from his grip and place them on his chest, pushing him down onto the mattress. You were above him this time, teasing him the same way he had you pinned down earlier. You place a trail of wet sloppy kisses down his well-defined abs. Your cold fingers wrapped around his. Just as you reach down to the hem of his boxers, you pull away. He groaned in frustration and snapped his head back up to look at you. 

“You’re such a fucking brat.”

The rest of the night went in a blur, you laid your head on top of Levi’s chest, tracing random shapes on his abdomen. His fingers were tangled in your hair, patting your head once in a while. You decided that you were way too tired to walk back to your room because of how exhausted you were from the nightly activities. You stopped tracing shapes and laid your hand flat on his chest, focusing on the beating of his heart. You looked up at him, one hand cupping the side of his face. Your cold fingers against his burning skin. His eyes half-lidded looked down at your tiredly, he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. His arms wrapped around you tighter, pulling your head into his chest and placing his chin onto your head. You nuzzle your face deeper into his neck, lips against his skin, you mumble quietly, “I love you.” You weren’t sure if he had heard you or not because he did not react to your words. But then again, it wasn’t like you said it coherently. You drifted off into your sleep soon after mumbling your love confession without another thought. 

Levi heard you, he heard you clearly. He laid there still for a couple of minutes, his heart began picking up after your little confession. Afraid that you could hear his quickening heartbeat, he pulled away from you slowly and looked down at your face. He let out a small sigh of relief when he saw your eyes closed and sleeping peacefully. His index finger began outlining the curves and contours of your face. And before he knew it, he drifted off to sleep without a worry on his mind.


	5. Chapter Five

The crunchy sound of the duvet shuffling awoke you from your slumber. Peeping one eye open, so you wouldn’t completely blind yourself with the sudden change of lighting. Focusing on the blurry figure across the room, you trail your eyes down Levi’s shirtless torso. He walked over to his closet and grabbed one out of an abundant amount of white button-downs, as he pulled his right arm through the sleeves, you let out a small whine in protest. Without sparing a glance at you, he quietly sighed and continued buttoning up his shirt. You pulled yourself up from the bed and examined your state from the mirror across the room. You somehow managed to put on your panties and Levi’s button-down before passing out last night. And your hair was a bit messy from turning in bed or maybe from the lewd actions from last night. You suck in a breath at the thought.

“Get ready, we have an early expedition today.” Levi pulled on a pair of trousers before disappearing into the bathroom. You pulled yourself out of bed and fixed yourself in the mirror before following him into the bathroom. You lean a hip on the door frame and watch as he washes his face.

“How do you suggest I leave your room in broad daylight with nothing but panties on? My pants are all ripped up because of you.” You had a small smirk played on your lips, curious as to how he would handle a situation like this.

Levi didn’t react to your question, instead, he walked over to the bathroom window and pried it open. The morning rays bounced off the walls, the light illuminating the dim room. The distant sounds of birds chirping, incoherent conversations of merchants, and the echoing laughter of children filled the room. You pushed your hip off the door frame and walked towards him. You let out a snort and pointed at the window opened ajar.

“What? I hope you’re not suggesting I jump out the window.” You let out a small giggle but after a couple of seconds of silence, your lips drew a line. You might actually have to jump out of the fucking Captain’s window at the crack of dawn, and that this wasn’t just him cracking a joke.

You turned on your heel and walked out of the bathroom. You were a little upset that he would make you leave through the window just to avoid walking out of his room practically naked, it’s not like there would be cadets inundating the halls, you doubt anyone would see you run out of his room. Or did last night not mean anything to him? Is this a normal occurrence that he had to deal with occasionally? The thought of Levi in bed with another person raised heat to your face. Although there was still no defined relationship between the two of you, despite last night, the idea still tugged at the tiny green devil within you. You bent down and snatched your bra and other garments scattered across the floor. The buttons of your pants were broken from having been basically ripped off from last night, your shirt missing a couple of buttons as well. Hugging the clothes to your chest, you walked back into the bathroom. Levi was back to whatever he was doing earlier at the sink.

“Lend me a pair of pants.” You asked shortly, face blank of any expression but it was obvious that you were annoyed with the little escape plan he made for you. Without saying anything, he walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a pair of jeans that may be a size too small for you. 

“Here, return these whenever you’re free.” He held the jeans in front of you.

Dropping the clothes in your hands to the side, you hastily grabbed the jeans and pulled them over your legs. There was no way you would have fit into them if it wasn’t for your morning skinny. You mumbled an incoherent thanks and grabbed your clothes and slowly walked over to the window. You peaked your head outside to see what you had to deal with, the drop was almost four stories high, you could definitely die from this height if you didn’t land correctly. There was a ledge under the window, if you were to hang from it and jump, the distance wouldn’t be as bad, you had fallen from worse heights, but then again, you had your gear on to break the fall.

Luckily there was no one passing by the alleyway. You sighed and threw a leg over the window sill, throwing your clothes down the window. You look back at Levi to see if he had any to say about you possibly falling and breaking both of your legs.

“Be careful, the drop is a bit high.” Pissed off is all you had to say. You stare back at him in disbelief. 

“Oh, fuck off.” His eyes slightly lit up in surprise at your sudden profanity.

Amused with yourself, you blew a piece of loose hair out of your face and turned around to pull your other leg over the sill. Your feet dangling in the air, you took a deep breath and inched down to the ledge, trying to find space on the ledge that would allow you to place your foot on. The ledge only went out 12 inches, give or take. One slip and you might just split your head open. You didn’t really want to ask Levi for help after just cursing him out, but it seems like there was no other option. You rather have more rumors flying around than have your skull cracked open. Barely hanging onto the window and on your tippy-toes on the ledge. Throwing your pride aside, you cleared your throat. 

“Levi?! Are you still there? Captain… hello?” Before you could whisper scream his name again, his head popped out the window, eyes half-lidded, he looked down at you with slight amusement. You let out a small laugh at this distasteful situation. This is so embarrassing.

“Haha… lend me a hand would ya? This is scarier than looks.” You flashed him a pearly smile and laughed nervously. You can feel your hands slipping from the window.

“I don’t really want to help someone that just cussed me out.” He cocked his head to the side and inched down a bit closer to your face.

“Cmon… I was just joking early, hm? Please. Help me out, I really don’t want to bust my head open at 6 in the morning,” You nervously laughed again, tilting your head in suggestion. “Levi, please. My hands are slipping.”

He finally offered his hand out to you. But before you could grab onto his hand, you lost your grip on the window, barely managing to stabilize yourself on the ledge as you fell a couple of feet. You pressed your body up against the wall with wobbling legs. You would have to jump up to reach Levi’s hand, or just make the jump down and risk breaking a couple of bones. With barely any room to move your feet, you laid your back flat onto the wall and took a deep breath. You peer down from the ledge, now fully coming to the realization just how high the fall is.

“Are you okay?” You looked up at Levi who looked quite concerned despite being the person that suggested you jump out a window. You started laughing hysterically out of fear which seemed to only make him even more concerned. You looked up at him in desperation, careful not to make any sudden movements.

“Can you reach my hand?” He had his other hand perched on the side of the window so he could lean down further. You nodded hesitantly.

You needed your back facing the other way so you could jump. Placing both hands on the wall for support, you carefully turn your other foot towards the wall as well as your other foot. You let out a shaky breath after successfully turning around. You lift your head to see if Levi was still there. He nodded his head slightly, encouraging you to jump. You couldn't bend your knees as much or else you would push yourself off the ledge, so you had to jump up without bending your knees past a certain angle, which proved much more difficult than you think. 

You threw yourself up with all the momentum you could gain without bending your knees, just missing his hand, your right foot landed back down on the ledge first, before your left, the weight of the jump caused the ledge to break off and crumble apart. You were practically holding onto the wall for dear life, your left foot was safely holding you up, but just barely, one more jump and the entire ledge was bound to crumble. With your right foot just dangling over the fallen ledge, you no longer had the space to jump straight up. You wiggled a little to the left to make room for a side jump. Looking up to face Levi for some reassurance, you took a deep breath.

“Please catch me.” You breathly let out. With your left foot parallel to the wall, you swung your right leg in the air for some type of momentum. Placing all your weight onto your left foot, you pushed off from the ledge and jumped up as high as you could. You felt Levi slender fingers wrap around your left arm. Gasping, you look down at the ledge, which crumbled right after the jump. The impact of the rubble created a pool of dust 40 feet below you.

“Give me your other hand.” Was all Levi managed to say as he tried his best not to lose his grip on your arm. You lifted your dangling arm, which he quickly took into his other hand. You place your feet on the wall, climbing back up to the window as Levi pulls you up. Once you reach the top of the sill, he pulls you in with a harsh tug. But your foot caught on the sill causing you to fall atop of him. You laid on top of Levi in shock. Unable to move or say anything. Your faces were so close to each other you could just… kiss him. Your eyes slightly widen when you find yourself leaning in. You removed your hands that laid on his chest and perched them up on both sides of his head and hover atop of him. He had a perplexed expression sprawled across his face, one you couldn’t discern, but you swore he definitely leaned in for the kiss. His behavior was so opposing to his actions, it’s been looping you in a constant state of confusion all morning. The beating of your heart muffled the footsteps that seemed to be growing louder as each second passed while you lay on top of Levi. Before you had the chance to ask him who was coming, the bathroom door flew open. 

“Levi, do you know where-” Cut off mid-sentence with a hand clasped over their mouth, frozen at the door frame stood Hange. The moment their hand dropped from their mouth, your foot that caught into the window sill dropped on the floor with a thud. You frantically pull yourself off Levi, who seemed to be annoyed by his friend's presence.

“Don’t even start. What do you want four-eyes?” He pulled himself up and dusted off his clothes.

“Erwin needs to talk with her asap, it’s important. Something involving the expedition, I don’t know the details.” Hange explained, still fidgeting with excitement from the little scene they just walked in on.

You quickly nodded and scanned the floor for your clothes. You gasped in realization, peeking your head back out the window, you saw your clothes buried under the rubble from the broken ledge. You pulled your head back inside and awkwardly stood behind Levi.

“Alright… I guess I’ll get going then.” You awkwardly smiled and squeezed past him.

“Wait, have Hange walk you to Erwin’s office.”

His hand was wrapped lossless around your wrist, holding you back from walking away.

“I don’t need someone to escort me to the Commander's office. I’m perfectly capable of walking there myself.” Your little attitude came back spontaneously. You took your other hand and pry his fingers off your wrist with a smile plastered on your lips. Levi let out an annoyed sigh and brought his fingers to his temples.

“Stop by your room and change before going then if you insist.” You follow his eyes which are resting on your chest, which anyone could see if they looked closely enough because of how see-through the shirt was. With wide eyes, you frantically cross your arms over your chest in an attempt to preserve your modesty in front of both of your superiors. You turn to face Hange with a cheeky smile, which they flashed back in return. Hange turned around and began making their way out of Levi’s office. You shuffled closely behind, without giving him another glance.

Once you finally left his room, you let out a small cry of embarrassment. Your hands rose to your hot cheeks, trying your best to cool down. 

“Are you going to tell me why you were on top of Levi, in his bathroom at the ass crack of dawn half-naked?” The brunette asked, nudging your arm, encouraging you to spill.

“It’s it obvious? This is so embarrassing… please don’t say anything to anyone else, for the sake of both Levi and I’s reputation. I don’t think he would enjoy anymore dating rumors floating around. And I certainly don’t want to hear the younger cadets talking about my sex life either.” You ran your cold fingers through your hair as you explained to Hange.

“Don’t worry, Levi might have my head on a platter if I dare say anything. I’ll keep this just between us then… how was it? It’s just- I’ve never seen him in a romantic relationship before.” You were flustered at Hange’s embarrassing question, the heat on your cheeks getting even hotter.

“I mean… I enjoyed it. I’m not sure he feels the same way.”

“What do you mean?”

“This entire morning he was being stand-off-ish. He was just acting like nothing happened last night. Hell, he told me to leave through the window! I thought that this would have brought us closer or something you know. Maybe share some of our feelings, but now it’s just awkward and the gap between us feels like it grew even farther apart,” Hange nodded as you rant to her about Levi’s odd behavior, “I’ve never seen him act this way before. He usually isn’t this cold towards me, well not since we met a couple of years ago.”

You stood in front of your room with a hand on the doorknob. Turning to the side, Hange placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I can’t speak for Levi, but I know he cares for you deeply. Just talk to him,” Hange looks around the corridor to make sure no one else hears her next statement, “He’s never been in a relationship before so… cut him some slack yeah? He isn’t great with his words so most of the time he doesn’t know how to express himself honestly. I would pay more attention to how he acts around you instead of his words.” With that, Hange drops their hand from your shoulder and with a reassuring smile, they continue their way down the corridor.

You pushed the door open with a heavy sigh. You tiredly plopped on the bed, grateful Ines wasn’t here to grill you with questions. It was a bit surprising that Levi has never been in a relationship, given how attractive he is. But it makes sense he doesn’t have time for relationships considering everything he already has on his plate.

After a couple of minutes with your own thoughts, you pulled yourself up and got changed to go to Erwin’s office. The walk there was short, your room was fairly close to his office. You knocked a couple of times, getting a hum as a response in return. Straightening out your uniform, you opened his door and walked in. His eye lifted from his desk to meet yours. You gently closed the door behind you and saluted before walking over to his desk.

“I heard from Hange that you requested to see me urgently, sir.” The pen in his hand continuously clicking as you awaited his reason for summoning you.

“I’ve been notified that Section Commander Ness, that is leading the right flank, has fallen seriously ill last night, it doesn’t seem like he will be able to carry out the expedition today.” You shifted in your seat, confused as to how this information would apply to you. His eyebrows were a bit tense, hesitant in what he will say next.

“I need you to replace him as a section commander.” Your eyes widen at his sudden request.

“Isn’t it too late to change section commanders now sir? I was stationed in the left-wing. I would need to study the route for the right-wing in such a short amount of time, I don’t know if I would be able to lead-” You were frantic in offering some other type of solution. Cutting you off, Erwin walked around the desk and stood by your chair.

“You are one of the most promising cadets I know and I was already planning on promoting you to a section commander after this expedition. I know how abrupt this is, but please, take over as team leader for this expedition. We can sort out your promotion details after, and if you want extra benefits I can arrag-” You waved him off.

“No, no it’s fine. I don’t need any extra benefits. I’ll take over as team leader.” You pushed the chair back and stood up to face him.

“Thank you so much, I’ve already discussed this change with Captain Levi last night, although he was quite persistent in finding someone else for the replacement. But I know you are the only responsible choice, go to him and study the route before we head out,” He walked back to his desk and pulled out a yellow-tarnished paper and a pair of keys, “this paper states that you’ve been promoted to a section commander. It should get you anywhere you need to go from now on, along with keys to your own office.” He dropped the paper and keys in your hands with a look of solemn gratitude.

“Thank you, really.” You waved him off again.

“No, thank you for entrusting me with such an important role. I’ll get going now.” You saluted once again before making your way to Levi’s office.

After closing Erwin’s door, you let out a long breath. Running your hands through your hair frantically as you make your way back to Levi’s office. Although you knew your skills were advanced enough to be a section commander, you never had a real opportunity to test your leadership skills. You knew there was no way around Erwin’s request, it was more of a demand glazed over with sweet words. And as if today couldn’t get any worse, you had to confront Levi again after the fiasco this morning. You were planing on avoiding him for a couple of days, but it seems like there wasn’t time for your childish antics. You had to put your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission.

You entered his room quietly, scanning the room for his presence. His somber eyes locked with yours from his desk. Walking over to his desk, you pulled a chair and sat down.

“I’m assuming Erwin has already informed you of the change in section commanders?” His eyes were back on his stack of papers, not lifting once to look at you as you talked.

“Yes, I’m aware.”

“Then you know why I’m here.” 

“Yes, I do.”

“Then shouldn’t you be updating me on the new formation I have to lead before I run our cadets into a bloodbath!?”

“I should.”

His curt responses shouldn’t have goaded you the way it did, considering this is just how he talks, and you knew that. But your stress levels have to increase trifold since this morning. You slammed your papers on his desk with one hand, hovering over the desk with a vexed expression on your face. It seems to catch him off guard, not enough to make him flinch, but enough to make him look you in the eyes.

“Look Levi, I’m not here to waste my time, nor is it my wish to waste yours. So please, just tell me what I have to do.” His eyes bore into yours, not giving anything away. You closed your eyes in defeat and let your head hang. You heard his hands shuffle through the piles of paper on his desk. His cold fingers wrap around your wrist, lifting your hand off your papers. He placed a map on top and pointed to the right-wing. He started explaining things but you were to focus on his fingers delicately wrapped around your wrist to pay any attention to the information you nagged him for.

“You got that?” His question pulled you out of your trance. Panicking because you heard absolutely nothing he just said, you stare back at him with a blank face. His features were sharp and stoic as usual, but his eyes veiled something else. You bend down slightly to find his eyes that were glued on the map.

“Levi, why are you acting like this? Was it because of last night? It… it wasn’t a mistake, right? You feel the same way I do, don’t you?” Your voice was soft and unwavering, but inside you were screaming from him to deny your questions, to tell you his true feelings, how he felt, how last night wasn’t a mistake, you were desperate for clarification.

His grip on your wrist tightened, he let out a low sigh and slowly lifted his head to meet your eyes. The morning sun setting perfectly on your face, it made your skin glow, your eyes dripping in gold, the way your hair softly swayed behind your shoulders from the breeze coming in from the window, he was bewitched.

Ever since he heard your confession last night, he decided to distance himself from you. Not because he did reciprocate your feelings, quite the opposite. But it would explain why he was so alienating this morning, like how he ridiculously suggested for you to jump out his window. But the idea of having another important person in his life terrified him, especially if they were a soldier that’s willing to put their life on the line. Bringing you into his life meant he had to deal with you leaving his life. And your confession did nothing but solidify this fear. He needed you to walk out first before you settled in his heart.

“Yes, it was a mistake. We should keep our relationship professional from now on, let’s not mix personal feelings with work anymore,” He released his grip on your wrist and pushed your papers as well as the map towards you, “you should go.”

Your hand that he previously held up, dropped to your side. You stare at him with an inconsolable expression. The pit in your stomach growing every single second that passes.

“You… you’re joking right?” You let out a stifled laugh, bringing both your hands over your mouth, your laughing turning into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. It rang throughout the room, probably loud enough to echo down the corridor. Levi stood paralyzed by your bizarre behavior, your laugh wasn’t cheery like it was before, it was eerie and unbearable to listen to. Concern washed over Levi’s face, instinctively his hand began to reach out to you. You suddenly dropped your hands from your face, your laughing coming to a stop. Your eyes fell to his hands that were reaching out to caress your face. You hastily walked behind his desk and grabbed his hand, placing it on your cheek, your hands on top of his.

“You do things like this and expect me to believe you?” Your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. Unable to look you in the eyes, he averted his gaze to the side.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me, Levi. Tell me this was all a mistake and that you have no feelings for me. I’ll believe you only then.” It took him a couple of seconds to form any type of reaction. He pulled his hand from under your hand and turned to face you. In the most unequivocal way possible, he ushered the very words you wished he wouldn’t. The two of you stood in the thick silence, only the sound of your breathing to occupy the space. You search his eyes for a lie, vulnerability, anything. But there was no hesitation, he was telling the truth.

The way your eyes fell the moment he said the words made him want to punch himself a million times over. Never has he seen your eyes so vulnerable and dim. He wanted so bad to reach out and touch your face and tell you everything was a lie, but he couldn’t. Maybe he was a coward. But it wouldn’t matter now. He watches as you walk back over to the front of his desk and gather your papers, he watches as your shoulders drop to the floor, he watches as he sees you pull your impenetrable walls back up, he watches as you leave his room without another glance back. He fell back in his chair the moment your figure was gone from his line of vision. He let out a deep sigh and let his head fall back to face the ceiling. Your despondent eyes burned into his mind.

…

You left his room in a rush, afraid that he would notice the tears that brimmed your eyes. You angrily wiped them off your face as you stormed down the hall. You shuffle through your papers to look for your office room number. You wander around the halls for a couple of minutes trying to locate your new room, a murderous look resting over your features hinted to every cadet that passed you not to engage in any type of conversation. It was an unnatural sight for everyone to see you anything but happy and smiling.

You rummage through your pockets and fished out your keys. Unlocking the door with a struggle as your hands were shaking from every single emotion coursing through your veins. You swung the door open and tossed your papers on the empty desk. The room was much bigger than the dorm you shared with Ines. It had the same layout as Levi’s office just flipped and maybe a bit smaller. You walk over to the large windows behind the desk and pulled the long draped curtains open. The dust particles floating around the room frantically, you pulled your elbow to your nose to prevent inhaling in any dust and pushed the windows open. The morning breeze pools into the room, automatically making the room less suffocating. You wiped off the dusty desk and began studying the map that Levi had given you. It had notes written all over it, which you were thankful for since you weren’t listening to anything he explained earlier. You couldn’t afford to be moping around because of Levi, especially with the change in plans on an important expedition like this. You spent about half an hour fully familiarizing yourself with the new route and occupying your mind with miscellaneous things to avoid thinking about him.

You thought back on what Hange said earlier this morning, about how Levi wasn’t good with his words. It made you think, that just maybe, he was lying earlier to stray away from his true intentions. You weren’t sure why he would avoid such emotions if he knew how you felt. In a last attempt to reach out to him again, you pulled out a pen and paper and began writing. You contemplated on whether you should just keep it in your other drawers filled with letters to the other survey corp members in case you didn’t return from a mission. But with the heavy melancholy that hanged in the air throughout the day, you couldn’t risk not bringing the letter with you.

It was already time to begin lining up for the expedition. You hear the stomping of hooves on the cobblestone and distant chatter of the other cadets. You stood up and grabbed your cape and draped it over your shoulders. You peeked out the window to see all the commotion. There are a bunch of townsfolk and children lined up, getting ready to send the scouts off. You hastily made your way out and strap up with your horse. Once you were ready, you went over to met with your new team, which consist of Luke Siss and Armin, along with other familiar cadets. Armin greeted you warmly, he went over the route briefly with you before you were all told to go line up.

You gently patted the side of your horses face to calm it down before the mission begins. You feel the lingering gazes that were focused on you as you pretend not to notice.

“I heard she and Captain Levi broke up this morning,”

“Since when were they dating?!” One of the girls out of the two ushered a whispered hush to her friend.

“Be quiet! She might hear you! But I heard from someone that she confessed this morning but he rejected her.”

“No way… you know, even if Captain doesn’t like her, I still admire her. How could he reject someone like her? We totally don’t have a chance then huh?” The girls broke into a fit of giggles and went on to talk about something else.

You rolled your eyes, slightly embarrassed and flustered that word has already gotten around. You sighed and leaned in closer to your horse, “You still love me hm?” Only to get an angry neigh in response, “okay, okay! I’ll come by and feed you more apples, deal? Get me back alive, and I’ll feed you all the apples within these walls.” Your horsed neighed happily this time, digging its hoove into the dirt and swaying head side to side as you continue stroking the side of its face.

The low rumbling of the walls opening still send a child down your spin every single time. A gate that presents a possibility for a better future but one that also opens a whole other world filled with dangers and unknown territory left to be explored. The thought of a better future only brought one image to your mind, a future with the one person who seems to want nothing to do with you. You knew somewhere deep down that he was lying, but you couldn’t get yourself to believe it, not after he told you to your face. You wanted to stubbornly deny the fact that he has no feelings for you, your mind was telling you to move on, but your pounding heart tells you otherwise. You whip your head around in a desperate attempt to locate him before riding too far out into the field, but it was no use. You were pretty far out on the sides to catch a glimpse of where he was stationed.

You haven’t noticed how far you have a road out into the field. Being lost in thought out in an expedition will get you killed, you knew that. Yet you foolishly let something trivial as your love life cloud your mind and having risk the lives of your entire squad. Armin must have noticed your unfocused behavior since he was now riding a lot closer to you than he should be. 

“Don’t you think it’s too quiet? We haven’t spotted a single titan for miles,” His voice was a bit shaky from being jolted up and down on his horse.

Now that he mentioned it, you were only able to let your mind wander on about Levi because there was no flesh-eating titan to occupy your thoughts. Your eyebrows furrow a bit in realization, a ball of dread starting to form in your stomach. There was something different in the air, but you couldn’t place your finger on it. All you knew was something is definitely wrong, and it might cost your squad’s life, maybe even yours.

The ground began to rumble in the distance, birds flying up into the sky after being disturbed. You look around for a smoke signal but there wasn’t one in sight. The rumbling became more apparent as it near your formation. Just as you were about to turn and ask Armin to send a message to the center formations, the shrieking of a cadet from behind you preventing you from doing so. Your eyes followed the abnormal titan bulldozing its way through cadets as it heads towards the center rear of the formation. Using combat techniques to evade and kill the soldiers that charged at it. The center rear… where Levi is leading, and where Eren is stationed. The abnormal must have wiped off the other squads so there was no one left to fire a signal. It may have seemed a bit of a reach, but you couldn’t risk not following your gut. Taking a deep breath you ordered Siss to temporarily lead the formation forward. You looked over to Armin, whose brain was churning to connect the dots, you knew he would figure it out once you left, so you wasted no time on explaining your next decisions.

“Make sure you get this to Captain Levi no matter what. I might not make it back.” You pulled out the white envelope from under your cape and placed it in Armin’s hand. It was the letter you wrote in your office before heading out on the mission.

Before he could speak, you pulled out your smoke signal and fired it before pulling out of the formation, bringing a couple of cadets along with you as you charge towards the abnormal. You knew it was risky to put yourself in such a dangerous position knowing you were the team leader, but if your theory was correct, this titan must have been a shifter just like Eren, you have no clue on who it might be, but it would be dumb to charge at it and not expect a bloody outcome. You picked up speed and headed straight for the titan, your only job was to slow the titan down just long enough for Armin to send the message to the others about the abnormal.

As you near, you prepared yourself to launch off your horse onto the titan. You pulled your swords out from its sheath and grappled you hook onto the titan’s shoulder. As you flew up into the air, it’s hand came up to its shoulder and pulled your hooks out of its skin. You frantically brought your hands up to an x to protect yourself from the tumble you’re about to receive. The titan easily swung your wires to the side and sent you flying down to the ground. Your quick thinking broke the nasty throw as you were sent spinning on the ground. The fall definitely broke a couple of ribs but your body was pumped on adrenaline to actually feel the pain. You broke your arms from the x and dug a sword into the ground to help pull yourself up while your other arm wraps around your waist. Squinting to refocus your vision, you saw the rest of your backup squad being ruthlessly thrown and tossed in every direction. Their mangled bodies hanging off from the surrounding trees, their muffled screams ringing in your ears. You knew Armin and the others should almost be at the center now, all you had to do was hold the titan off just a bit longer.

You whip your head around in search of your horse but it was nowhere to be found. The titan was really picking up speed, if you waited any longer you would completely lose sight of it. Gathering your remaining strength, you grapple onto the surrounding trees to try and close the gap. The fall must have punctured a hole in one of your canisters because of how fast your gas was depleting after every single swing.

You were close enough to hook onto its calf, taking the chance, you shoot your hooks into their calf, as you flew across, you brought your blades up to the side off your face and sliced its ankles. Releasing your hook, you then shot it up to its right shoulder to get closer to its face. Their hand flew up to their shoulder to grab the wire, but you quickly unhooked and shot into their hand that was now placed on its shoulder. Using the momentum of your swing, you jumped up and sliced its fingers off. Your speed must have caught them off guard as you notice how their balance was thrown off a bit from being thrashed around on their shoulder. Using this to your advantage, you pulled yourself to your feet on their shoulder and shot into the tree that they were blindly charging straight towards. Before their other hand could reach over to grab your wires so you wouldn’t fly off, you were already perched upon the tree. This was the first time you could clearly see the titan’s face.

Your eyes widen in horror as you discover the daunting realization of who was behind the female titan. Your fingers tighten around your handle as you prepare yourself to launch yourself at Annie. She must have known you had figured out her identity, as she was hesitant in her next move. You held back tears of anger as you pushed yourself off the tree, your blades position behind you, as you near her face, you spun your blades in circles, bringing them in front of you. Using all your might, you pushed your swords into her left eye. Just as you were about to release your old blades to fall, her fingers wrapped tightly around your body. The weight of her hand alone was enough to squish you like a bug. The possibility of the rest of your ribs cracking was inevitable, and there was no doubt it didn’t puncture a vital organ. The sound of your sternum and ribs cracking was muffled in her palms. You begin to let your body relax under her grip. With only her right eye open, she stared at you with sorrowful eyes. You didn’t understand why she was doing what she was doing, but you knew it wasn’t something she wanted to do. Your body went limp under her hold, your skin going pale.

“Annie…” Your voice was barely audible, spurts of blood coming out your mouth as you followed with a cough. The anger in your eyes dissipated when you both made eye contact. Her grip around your body loosens, revealing your mangled body that laid limp in her palm. She ran a bit further before finally slowing down as she neared a small cluster of trees. She gently placed you onto one of the elevated tree branches before charging into the center formation.

You let out a small scoff at her useless attempt to save your body. You let your head fall back until it hit the bark of the tree. You wrapped an arm around your stomach, maybe to prevent your insides from slushing around as you sat perched up on the branch or just a pathetic way to suppress all the pain that was finally hitting you. It was an inane situation, one you definitely didn’t see coming. Your eyes becoming heavier as the minutes pass, the pounding headache reaching its maximum pain level, you let out a shaky breath as you reach into your pocket to pull off a silver ring. You were planning on giving it a gift for Levi, not as a marriage proposal. You let out a small laugh at the silly plan you had in mind.

You held the ring that was wrapped in a white cloth close to your chest as you happily skipped down the corridor. You were planning on giving Levi the ring after you confess your feelings for him tonight. You stopped by the mess hall to brew his tea before heading to his room to help out with some papers. You shoved the ring into your pocket before picking up the tray. You nervously made your way to his office, knocking a couple of times before entering.

You had this whole plan mapped out. You were going to help him with his paperwork, chat a little bit after, and confess to him and give him the ring. Of course, none of that happens because more erotic things took place instead. But before it all went down, you secretly shoved the ring under a pile of paper on his desk.

You were excited the morning after, finally being able to confess your true feelings for him and give him the ring for real. But of course, nothing had gone as plan. When you returned to his room after talking to Erwin about the switch of section commanders, you kept eyeballing the ring under his papers that he has yet found. When you were scrambling to grab your papers off his desk you slid the ring back in between your papers before leaving.

In the end you weren’t able to give him the ring or confess your love in person. Your fingers weakly fumbled with the silver band. This one was yours, the other pair was in the envelope that you had passed onto Armin earlier. You shakingly slid the thin band onto your ring finger and let out a sigh of relief when you managed to gather the power to successfully slip it on before you lost all your strength. As your eyes struggle to stay open, your only wish was to be by his side in your last moments, but even till your last dying breath, you could never have anything go your way. Hot tears brimmed your eyes, you let the tear roll on your cheek, one after another until you were full-on sobbing.

It was ironic, the scene you saw before you meet your inevitable death. Between the open cracks of the branches, ahead of you was a breathtaking view. The sky swirled in pinks and oranges, the broken clouds that slowly danced in the sky, the sound of the wind rustling through the tree leaves, and the little chirping of birds in the distance. Death seemed almost peaceful. Who would have thought that you, of all people, who have seen the worst life has got to offer, would get to experience such a beautiful death?

Your lids shutter close momentarily, memories of Levi and you flashing before your eyes. You never realized it then, but he had always found a way to gently touch you, whether it was helping get up from a fall, or holding your waist to help you get onto your horse or the way his fingers would graze yours whenever he handed you anything. It was his way of communicating with you, and you were a fool to believe his words when his actions told a whole another story. It was always his actions that we're able to reach you first. When he saved you from falling in the forest when you first met, or how he always placed you near or in his squad whenever there was a venture beyond the walls. Or how he didn’t want you leading the squad formation today, it all made sense to you now. He loves you, despite the harsh words he spews denying it.

Or this could just this was your way of finding closure, even if he truly didn’t love you back and your relationship with him was just platonic, you were beyond happy to have such an important place in his heart. As a friend or as a lover, you were competent with either one. But it would have been nice to hear it from him instead of projecting your own story to make yourself assent with dying without knowing his true feelings. 

Using your remaining energy to snap your eyes open one last time, a small smile forms on your lips as your eyes fall to the ground. The shape of two bodies becoming a bit more clear when you squinted your eyes. It was your parents. Your father stood behind your mother, giving you a fond smile, your mother opening her arms invitingly. Their warmth radiating around them, all you wanted to do was snuggle up next to them and leave this cold and numb body. You turn your head away from them and back at your one hand that was dangling on your side. You stare at the silver ring that was reflecting in the sunlight. With the steady rise and fall of your chest, your breathing came in short bursts and fell away for what seemed like a moment too long for anyone to hold their breath. You shut your eyes, thinking about him one last time before you let your body go limp.

...

Levi spent hours searching for you after managing to recapture Eren from the female titan. Armin was just able to reach him in time to inform him about the abnormal titan charging their way. They were almost successful in capturing her, everyone but Eren on his squad is dead, but that was still the last thing on his mind. He grilled Armin to get information about where you were last seen. The worst was on his mind, he feared you were somewhere ripped limb from limb or dissolving in the stomach acid of some titan. He was persistent in searching for you, despite being told to retreat multiple times from Hange and Erwin. Ines was also actively looking for you, a look of distraught plastered on her face. Levi hid his emotions well, but it wasn’t hard to assume that he was a lot more worried about your wellbeing than another cadet.

After exhausting all the extra time he was given, everyone was packing up to head back, without you. If it were up to him, he would have gladly stayed behind and continue his search. His mind was racing with ways to find his way back to you, he was only broken out his train of thought when Ines’s voice was heard shouting from a distance. He whipped his head around and followed her voice. A couple of feet behind her were two abnormal titans running at full speed towards everyone. He squinted to focus on Ines, she was frantically waving one hand, and with her other hand, she was holding a body in place behind her. His eyes grew twice its size when he realized it was you who she was carrying on her horse.

He turns his horse around without a second thought, he pulled his swords out of its sheath and hooked onto the titan's neck, slashing both of its nape in one go. He landed back down and jumped back on his horse to ride back up to Ines. His heart was beating out of his chest as he neared the both of you. If your limp body wasn’t already telling enough, Ines's eyes were bloodshot, tears staining her cheeks. His grip on his reins loosens as he gets a closer look at your body. You had your head resting on Ines’s back, hands, and legs flaccid. Your body now cold and lifeless, your lips drew a line, and your skin was as pale as a ghost. Only the splashes of blood on your face gave it color. His eyes darken at the sight, a tight feeling coiled in his chest as he kept his head down. The muffled whimpers coming from your friend soon were all tuned out.

After reaching back with the group, he jumped off his horse and walked over to Ines’s side. He wrapped his arm around your back and another under your knees, carrying you bridal style back onto an empty wagon. He pulled himself up and lethargically sat next to your lifeless body. He grabbed your cold hands together and placed them on top of each other on your stomach. He placed his warm hands on top of yours and watched as your face bounced slightly as the wagon road over the bumpy field. He let out a shaky breath and let his head hang, his ebony bangs shielding his wet eyes from the others. He dropped his head on top of your hands and let his body take over. His quiet sobs left his shoulders in a shaking mess, his hands trembling on top of yours.

He slowly pulled his head up from your stomach and reach into his pocket to pull out the envelope. The envelope was shaking in his trembling hands. Taking in a deep breath and tore the envelope open. Inside there was a letter and a silver ring the sat at the bottom of the envelope. He shook the ring out into his palm and looked back at the ring that you wore on your finger. His head flew back in realization. It took everything in him to not let out a wretched cry. Getting hold of his composure he cupped the ring in his palm and opened your letter.

If you’re reading this letter, I’m assuming I wasn’t able to tell you this in person. Whether it’s because I’m not physically able to tell you because I’m no longer with you in this world or you decided to read it before I got a chance to take it back and tell you in person. But if you reading this when I’m dead, I’ll try my best and convey my true feelings in this letter.

Levi, I love you.

I don’t mean this platonically, or as a friend. It took me a while to figure out what these weird butterfly feelings I get in the stomach every time I see you meant. I am in love with you, as a woman, as a person.

When you told me how you felt earlier in your room, I believed you, out of respect for your own feelings. Although, I wanted to respect your feelings towards me, whether they are real or not. I think I still deserve the chance to confess my feelings to you sincerely without beating around the bush.

I’m sorry that I have passed without being able to say goodbye to you myself. I wouldn’t choose to go out this way either but we can’t always get what we want, right? But Levi, please take care of yourself.

I will be waiting for you with welcoming arms once you are finally ready to rest. You can come here and tell me about all the cool things you did while I was away, how you saved the world, and lived a long peaceful life after achieving the freedom you desperately fought for. So don’t feel guilty for not confessing your love for me in our last moments, or how the last we saw of each other ended in a fight. I know your true intentions.

The silver ring was a gift I was going to give you after I confess my feelings. But I couldn’t find the right time to give it to you. I bought us a matching pair, I thought you would have liked that. This is not a marriage proposal. Unless you want it to be… I’ll gladly say the words “I do” over and over again if that’s how you feel. But if that isn’t the case, take it as a token of our friendship.

As for the others, I left a pile of letters assigned to everyone in my desk drawer, so please hand those out to them. And comfort Ines for me too. 

I’m truly sorry we have to part this way, I’ll see you again soon, Yours Truly.

The paper was soaked slightly from his tears, the corner of the ink bleeding off the paper. He folded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. He slid the ring onto his ring finger and held your hand that wore the ring in his.

“I do.” 

He pulled away from your body and sat perched up at the back of the wagon, he carefully pulled you up and placed your head in his lap. His fingers traced the outline of your jaw, his thumb rubbing your cool cheek. He placed both of his hands on the sides of your face and placed a chaste kiss on your lips.

He disconnects his lips from yours and lifts his head back up. He slumped into the back of the wagon and stares off into the sky as he gently strokes your hair.

“I’ll find my way back to you, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this is one of my first ever stories that I’ve managed to complete and write all the way through to the end. And although the story ended solemnly, I believe that sad endings stick with people just a tad bit longer than happy endings. Call me a masochist if you will lmao because it was just as painful for me to write, as it was for you read. 
> 
> I began writing the first four chapter a while ago so my writing has, and hopefully improved in the last chapter. English isn’t my first language and the completion of a series/story is a foreign to me since I’ve never seen most of my stories to the end. 
> 
> But, I just want to thank everyone for reading and providing feedback and likes after reading, I re read everyone’s comments multiply times because they make me so happy as a writer :) I’m usually not obligated to say apologies after writing sad endings, but I think this deserves a couples of sincere sorries. Hopefully, and maybe my next story will have a more cheery ending. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate everyone that has stayed long enough to read my story to the end. Please leave comments and kudos, I love to hear everyones think pieces! :)


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